Here’s Why I Unfriended Darren Rowse in Facebook

by Jan Geronimo on February 22, 2010

Darren Rowse has a problem segregating his friends from his fans in Facebook.  It’s a question of efficiency.  And I’d like to help him do that.

Apparently, Darren has already come to terms with the prospect of orphaning a good slice of the 5,000 Facebook friends he has.  What remains to be a problem for him is the most efficient way of doing it.

Darren  has a very good reason for realigning his Facebook community.  He needs to make his personal page truly a cozy place for his family and real life friends.  Check out Darren’s explanation why he’s jilting most of his Facebook friends in his latest post:  Dear Facebook Friends, I’m De-Friending Most of You [It's Not You, It's Me]

To do that he needs to start on a clean slate by unfriending 5, 000 people.

As of this writing, nobody has come up with a solution to make the task less tedious.  Do you know of a way to mass unfollow friends in Facebook?

Kindly tell Darren if you have any suggestion.

Because I cannot.  I’ve jumped the gun on him before he can unfriend me.  Argh, I had unfriended the great Darren Rowse.

Works better that way though.  Everyone smells better if I do it my way.

Darren,  unfriending you in Facebook is the last thing on my mind.  Truly sucks.  That’s easier to deal with though obviously.

There will be one slot more for your real life friends in Facebook.  By letting you go now, I hope others will take a hint and do likewise Yes, you need the full measure of 5,000 slots to accomodate them.  You’re Darren, after all.  Problogger.  Bigger than life.

It’s not as if you’re vanishing for good.  Your fans can still have a piece of you in your Problogger fan page. Everybody happy.

But who am I kidding, right?  Okay, here’s my two cents:

It’s a tad unfortunate that social media screws my concept of friendship. You’re very accessible 24/7.  You’re with us every night right in the comfort of our homes, offering solutions to our knotty problems in blogging.

You send us on writing assignments.  And we comply and we scurry  back with list posts to the  annoyance of some of our friends who think we’re soft in the head.  We don’t care.  We live for the pat on the back from the master.

Most of us mill about you but scared shitless to  say even a weak, “Howdy, mate!”  Guess, we’re more used to leaving comments in your blog than engaging you in banter in Facebook. Does it necessarily mean we’re less sincere about how we regard you?


But we still fail you in that you’re looking for a friend.  Perhaps someone who knows exactly the number of bunions on your feet?  You’re looking for an equal and we can only muster with, “From which floor, Darren?” – if you ever ask us to jump off a building.

Alas, what we thought of us intimacy was a mirage.  And adulation can at any moment be a worthless currency.  Not really your fault.  It’s ours.  It’s mine.

And, of course, in the grand scheme of things, real friends matter more. Not fans or lurkers.    Not the social media engineered version of friends. But friends in its traditional meaning.  Hurray for Old World concepts.

And that for your own sanity, you need to screen out the noise from spammers, Facebook gamers and the sweaty masses.  I know how you feel and to think  I only have nearly 300 Facebook friends.

Lesson learned, lesson learned.

Here’s releasing you now to your real life friends.

Nothing personal.  Just want to make it easy for you.

Good luck, mate.

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  • Here I am answerable about this , In my suggestion its good that your Facebook having all friends and even not are friends
  • This is the first time when I heard someone de-friending anyone so openly...I think Darren Rowse has much more to explain than just making excuses as he has done...
  • Jenaisle

    Wala na akong mabasa, he he he...wala bang babong balita?
  • Thanks for sharing the moment.Appreciate it.Great.Keep it up and all the very best.
  • I'm not his friend, even not a friend of any problogger because I always have a fear, they may influence my thought negatively. One thing this story tell me, I should know whom I making friend in Facebook and should control my instinct while choosing friends.
  • reena
    hi jan. :)

    i know someone who started unfriending her not-so-close friends. it took her a week to do it. she came up with a few parameters. 1. remove friends she hasn't seen or heard from for the past 2 years. 2. remove friends she only met while she was still with her ex-boyfriends (hahaha) and 3. remove friends who will never be part of her wedding guest list. so it's all narrowed down to a dozen friends. hahaha.

    so i guess it was right for you to unfriend darren. unless you wanted him to be in your wedding. :)
  • She's very businesslike. And sensible. Perhaps someone you shouldn't
    displease? Because she could probably cut down any formidable opponent to
    size. Methodically. Ahehehe. Just kidding. Thanks for the lovely
    comment. :)
  • Great post. Thanks for the truth.
  • I admire Darren's decision to hone his FB. He is already such a helpful sweetie and so great on Twitter we get all his good stuff anyway!

    I find social media can get too overwhelming. It's good to concentrate on just 1 and use it in conjunction with a blog!

  • I'm rereading this, and it's something relevant for me as well. No idea whether I'll develop as big of a following as Darren, but the general principle is good.

    So I started up a fan page a couple of weeks ago myself. And it's working out.
  • Hello? Anybody home? :P
  • Roy

    sige Rey, bulabugin natin si Jan :)

  • Haha, Oo nga eh. Tagal na namang walang post dito e!
  • zorlone
    I guess the islander is late for the party...

    Wassup everyone. I see that Mr. Problogger needs help with his FB account, luckily, Jan made his own step in helping him out.

    Darren, I do hope you are able to sort out your predicament and I do hope that your followers/fans/friends are now happy.

    Holly, I am curently 6 out of (insert latest number) of your fan page. :)

    Jena, now you know Darren Rose?

    Before I forget, Jan, I forgot how intoxicating blog hopping is, fortunately, I have enough time here in a free wifi resto. I almost forgot how to use the internet. LOL

  • Hi, Z. What a pleasant surprise. Yes, you're a tad late, but you're always
    welcome here. I must admit, I'm starting to toy with the idea of forming a
    team to extricate you from Micronesia. :)
  • zorlone
    When that time comes, I'll wave a white flag, so that you'll know when
    I am ready to come back to my beloved island country.


  • Hi Jan,

    BaKit wala ka nang posts? How are you?
  • Other than I've been unfriended by my writing muse? I'm okay. Nursing some
    funk but other than that I'm generally okay. :)
  • Jan, magpost ka na ah, wala na akong pag kape-an, ano ba? Pupuntahan kita diyan sige, ka...he he he... di ako nagbibiro...Post ka na please.
  • Yes, mam Jen. Ahehehe. Magsasalang na po ako sa kalan ng patcham. :)
  • Hello Jan,

    it has a long time since i've been here. I was just curious, is your blog registered at Technorati, i can't seem to find it there. just curious. :-)

  • Hi, Ad. Yeah, it's been a while. But that's just the way it goes. Life
    intervenes and all that...Oh, okay, I'd check at Technorati today. Thanks!
  • This just points out the main issue of why I haven't started using FB for my business. I have been researching the best way to us FB for my business, but I'm a little bit (and I do mean little) of a privacy freak. FB is for my "friends" virtual and real that I want to interact with without worrying about how professional I am because I have "business associates or acquaintances" mixed in there.

    From all that I've read it sounds like when I start using FB for business, I am doing it the best most efficient way by keeping my friends friends and business on the Fan Page.

    In the meantime, I'll just keep following Darren on Twitter.

    Thanks for this discussion.
  • i don't do fb and tweets anymore (to save me from heartache). yeah, so much for "friends". here we are again, LJ with the so-called friends issue. I don't really care if I would be unfriended by someone who isn't actually my "friend".

    if people really want updates about my life, they can always check out my blog: (ui, plugging).

  • That's strange. Mas nauna ka pa nga nagFacebook sa akin eh. I remember you
    had a post about online friends. Ako naman may give advice pa ako noon.
    Guess what, it has come full circle. Ako naman ngayon ang bothered and
    bewildered. LOL. But I'm okay now. And therein lies the beauty of writing
    it down. Nawawala un inis at negativity. Promise. Ahehehe
  • kurak. kaya nga ayaw ko na fb. kaso ngayon kelangan ko magbalik loob at sabi eh yun na daw ang next big thing (pagdating sa advertisers) so baka bumaba ang blog advertising. LOL

    woot! yun nga, buti you remembered my post about online friends. wahaha. ito me, trying to get back sa circle. mejo naiinis pero go lang.. tama yan, isulat mo lang at ng mabawasan. hehe. tingnan mo at sya pa mismo ang lumapit at nag explain sayo. hihi
  • That's why I rarely follow people or add people on my social network unless if I know them personally especially on Facebook where only my classmates, family and other friends are there . Twitter on the other hand is different since there I follow to people who follow me.

    I can clearly understand the reason why Darren Rowse did it.
  • darrenrowse
    thanks for helping out - it was a really difficult decision to come to as I knew it'd be interpreted in so many ways - however to explain again my main motivation:

    - I felt like I'd let my worlds collide a little too much - my facebook profile was followed my everyone from my brother, sister, cousins, church friends, old school friends (real world personal family and friends)..... through to those who read my blogs. As a result every time I posted anything on it I was going to be no meeting one of the two groups needs. In fact over time I was seeing my 'real world friends' (I don't like to make a distinction but... they're the people who I socialize with and share more personal stuff with) get annoyed with me because of all my posting about blogging on what they thought should be a personal medium.

    - I was duplicating too much - I had set up a facebook 'page' for each of my blogs. 15000 people had already become a 'fan' (hate that word) on my problogger one. I was posting a lot of the same stuff on both my 'page' and my 'profile'. Some people were seeing things twice and it was splitting my attention to moniter the reactions of people. I was spending all my day running from my profile, to my page, to my Twitter account, to my..... you get the picture.

    - my 'profile' was exclusive. 5000 people is the limit on facebook 'profiles' and as a result I was ignoring every friend request that came in after that level because FB wouldn't allow me to do anything else. 'Pages' have no limit - so that was a more inclusive option.

    So - I decided to make my 'pages' my professional places for interaction and my 'profiles' to be my personal places. In the end I've only got 7 or so people still left as friends on my 'profile' who are 'internet' friends and these are people who I regularly see in real life or work very closely with.

    I know this seems callous to some but I guess I decided I wanted a place online where I could interact with those who I had more personal connectsions with. The type of people I'd invite to dinner or a wedding. That doesn't mean anyone else I interact with online isn't important to me (they are) - but I guess I realize its important to foster more personal relationships too.

    I could have started a 2nd facebook profile for my personal friends - but the downside of that approach is that I'd end up with 2 profiles and 2 pages... I'd still have a limit of how many friends I could have on my personal 'profiles'.... I'd still be duplicating.... It didn't really make sense for me to go that route when I already had places for more professional interactions set up.

    It took me a few hours to defriend everyone but in the end I think its been worth it. I'm now able to interact better than I had been previously on my 'pages' and on my more 'personal' space I've had the opportunity to reconnect with real life friends who I'd previously been just annoying before.

    Hope some of that makes sense!
  • Sometimes you wish you could just blog and not be too famous, eh? It's a wise move to separate your personal and corporate/professional life. Sometimes post that aren't supposed to be seen by "fans" are mixed up. I guess that's a problem with Social Media. I happen to marvel at how Pete Cashmore was able to manage it though. After all, he's more of a socially active person than just blogging.
  • That's makes a lot of sense :) thanks for stepping by....!!
  • Makes a lot of sense, and I agree I have made two facebook profiles, and the problem is that I am not able to handle the pressure of two and twitter and blogging and so the 2nd facebook account is usually left out.
  • The drawback of being famous, I guess.
  • Crystal, Darren. Thanks a lot for explaining your position and for taking the time to reply to readers comments.
  • That makes a lot of sense Darren, thanks for stepping by and make this post more happy one :)
  • The only thing missing is for Darren to comment here ;)
  • darrenrowse
    took me a while to find it but I got here in the end :-)
  • No need for Darren to explain himself. His reasons for unfollowing his FB
    friends are sensible. For what it's worth, Darren's decision forced my hand
    to examine my wayward concept of online friendship. Friendship has its own
    reasons for being. And social proofing isn't one of these. :)
  • How can he even have 5000 friends? I know he's networking and all, but can anyone have time to have 5000 actual friends in real life? I don't think so. Fan pages are the way to go, not inviting people you don't eve know to your personal facebook page to "network." That's my opinion, anyway. I think what he's doing is right on, and needed. He lost focus of what is private and what is public, and the post on his blog explained it well and was completely reasonable.
  • Good thing about Darren's decision is that he made a good case for maintaining an FB fan page. And I agree that making clear delineation of what's private and what's public is reasonable.
  • Seeing as how I've never joined his FB I'm saved the tedious task of giving him the heave ho. Seeing as how I don't fraternize with the big boys, if it wasn't for this post I would have never found out what he was doing.

    Thanks for keeping me up to date.
  • Ah, that cool detachment. I sure can use some of that. Thanks, Sire.
  • Jan! Where ya been man?

    I'm a little late to this party, but I did read (more or less) every comment. I see the usual suspects are still at it. That makes me feel good, all is well with the world.
  • Here and there, sulking. But as you say all is well with the world. Thanks, Dave.
  • Being unfriended by Darren should be my biggest problem.
  • At the outset, it is. At least for me. But then again, I don't really know him that well. I've come to my senses now. :)
  • :)
  • Whoa, Where have I been? I hadn't heard this, but then again, I don't spend too much time on Facebook. No wonder he never followed me back. Now that I think about it, my feelings are hurt. Kidding.....
  • darrenrowse
    you can join the 'page' any time Barbara - acceptance there is guaranteed every time! :-)
  • Writing about it made me realize it's just surface wound...The only social
    proofing - if it can be called - that I need can be had at the company of
    real friends and readers. I had to learn that fast even before the scab has
    formed or else I'd be teased about it for a long time. :)
  • I'm Darren Rowse's subscriber... I was able to read his article about the FB-thing; but I just ignored it (LOL)... I directly visited your blog again to check what's new, and what a great surprise you talked about Darren... I'm also a fan of Darren, actually...
  • He's on my reader, too. I still follow him on Twitter. He wanted some alone time in Facebook so I unfollowed him there. The world did not end. Much to my relief. And yes, I can laugh about it now. At least I've got a post out of it. :)
  • I friend Darren and follow him on FB & twitter not for his useful shared stuff, but to know who is following him and maybe contact with them lol! I think this is more useful to me as all the famous busy guys won't bother to reply to any of my comments or emails some times!

    It sounds funny but anyways everyone has his own way to deal with his things!

    Great post Jan!
  • darrenrowse
    Actually I think there's some real wisdom in this. While every day I feel like I'm failing to be interactive with everyone who wants it I've worked hard to create a site where people can interact with one another and where the community is a resource to itself. I think there's some real 'wisdom in the crowd' stuff going on on my sites - together we're a lot smarter and can solve a lot more problems than any one person.

    So when I see readers getting to know each other I feel like I'm doing a good job.
  • That's a good tactic, Hesham. "It's not you, Darren. It's your superb followers I'm after. Get over it." LOL

    Seriously, great possibilities in that. Thank you!

  • He should have created a different account na lang siguro for his friends and family, instead of unfriending everyone.

    Speaking of unfriending, sa Twitter naman, 2 persons unfollowed me (I learned through Nutshellmail, thanks to you! :) ) So anyway, my first reaction was, sure, I'll unfollow you too!. But when I saw who they were, aba kilala palang web development blogger yung isa, at yung isa naman ay kilalang web developer ng popular WP Theme Framework. Nakalimutan ko na nga that they were following me pala. Syempre honored naman ako that they followed me before. And no, I didn't unfollow back as planned, coz I like them naman. I read on their tweets that they deleted all their followers and started back to zero. Then they only followed real friends at yung nakaka-usap nila palagi. Saying they want to build conversations, not endless promotion. Dami daw kasi nilang narereceive na spam tweets when they followed almost everyone na nag follow sa kanila. Naintindihan ko naman. Pero meron pang nag unfollow sa aking isa, i-unfollow ko sana kaso hindi nya pala ako follower, nakalimutan ko siguro syang i-follow before, kaya siguro ako nilayasan haha.
  • Maybe he can do that. But it will be odd. He'd be using another name, confusing his friends and family who only know him as Darren Rowse.

    This is a touchy issue for some people, me included. But it will die down and maybe will be made clear to all that it's for the best. It took me a while to appreciate the simplicity and merit of his reclaiming his FB personal page solely for personal friends and family, but I did.

    Online interaction sometimes feeds us that presumptuous sense of entitlement. I stumbled on that one obviously. But I've since learned to shrug it off. Just part of the learning curve.

    In Twitter, I follow several people who don't necessarily have to follow back to earn their keep on my list. Can't live without their useful tweets! Ahehehe.

    I've learned to place more importance on the benefits of their mind shares rather than on the social proofing factor of them following me.

    Of course, I can now say that with ease because The Celebrity Blogger has again followed me back. Yipee! I'm so shallow. I know! Ahahaha. I'm just praying he didn't get to read the previous post because I might find myself out in the cold again. LOL
  • Roy
    I've heard about him... a lot! Everybody talk about him. Probably the reason why I didn't even bother to follow him -- he's not too hard to find!

  • mmm.. your short comment can change my whole idea about following people on social networking sites :)

    This is inspiring me, thanks Roy!
  • I might be one of those people, Roy. Got to the point that I earned a
    nickname courtesy of Elmot. He'd drop me a line in Google Talk, "Ding,
    dong. Do you have a new post, Darren Raw?"
  • Roy

    does he mean "Raw" as in uncooked or "Raw" in Filipino as in "daw?"


  • Very wicked, Roy. Ahahaha. I want every base covered to be sure. so I'd say both. Both words describe me very well anyway. Ahahaha.
  • lainie9
    Great post. What I didn't understand was why he didn't do the whole thing more positively. Like, "Hey all! I've hit my cap so I'm moving everything over to my Fan Page instead of my personal account. So when I unfriend you, just join me over there."

    Instead he set up this whole negative thing... "I'm unfriending 99 percent of my FB friends. I need some privacy. Wah wah wah." I don't think I'm his friend on FB so I don't care one way or the other. But it just reminds me of the lines of people outside the "in" club, who know they're going to get rejected but try to get in anyway, and it's that rejection that keeps the whole thing turning.

    It's all in the spin, Darren. I think you spun this one the wrong way.
  • Darren did that in his Facebook update. He provided a link to his fan page. The ensuing back and forth in the comments though had been how best to effect the unfriending. So instead of the discussion of the whys of the matter it was more about tools because unfriending 5k is such a dreadful chore.

    He wrote more lengthily about his reasons in his blog today. Sounded all right to me, his reasons.

    But, of course, this post was written yesterday. Just me coming to terms with an impending doom. Because I know I don't stand a chance.

    I should learn to value more what I already have. It's all too easy to forget that sometimes.

    Thanks for sharing your observations.
  • Whooa, it's been awhile since your last exhale...haha
  • Yeah, I had better write something soon or readers will think my blog is
    already hooked to a respirator. Thanks a lot for dropping by. :)
  • I absolutely get what you mean LJ. But there's one huge difference - doesn't he run a blogging blog? I mean, as opposed to a personal blog. (That's as far as I know, and I hardly know him. :p)

    In any case, I agree with the earlier mentioned he-should-have-just-created-a-new-FB-account.

  • That's correct. It's his call really. Maybe you and I when we get to be famous, too - especially you - we'd be more conscious of establishing personal space. :)

    When everyone seems bent on having a piece of your time, mind, influence, et al it's best to set limits.

    And even I - just another obscure blogger among milions at that - put a high premium on privacy and the right to take steps to ensure my peace of mind and happiness.
  • Especially me? Haha. At the rate I'm going, I would probably remain obscure for the rest of my blogging life. lol! You, on the other hand, Mr. Influential Blogger, should be ready-ing your turnover speech to this year's EIB. Hehehe.

    Privacy is also important to me - and because I run a personal blog, everything suddenly becomes personal. Like yesterday, someone criticized my photos of Tali Beach - how rude! But I've put my photos out there for everyone to see, I can't expect everyone to like them all right? :{)
  • Re EIB: I'd rather send my regards na lang. LOL. Okay, I'd check out that post about Tali Beach. That's interesting. People taking the time to put you to task when they can simply move on. Getting hit like that - well, that's not being obscure.
  • I actually understand Darren. I'm not using Facebook at all, unless I'm adding someone that wants to be my friend. That happens. My problem is like Darren's, but in a much smaller scale.

    I have a lot of friends, family and co-workers on Facebook, and I have a lot of "online friends". To me, using Facebook is somewhat like a split personality. My online friends wants me to talk about my online adventure, while the other group of guys want me to be personal. When I'm personal, my online friends are giving me a hard time (well, I like to think that they are).

    Anyway. I'm not sure how I should use Facebook. Twitter is much easier, or maybe not, maybe I just haven't noticed the guys who are following me. Too many to keep track of them all.
  • Managing your online presence can be quite a challenge. After all, there's only so much of you to go around. :)

    Facebook lists, Twitter lists can be very useful so you can keep tab of the important people. I use them in Twitter. Perhaps I should start doing the same in Facebook.
  • I have started to use them in Twitter as well, and I have only two lists in Facebook. So, I have started to use lists, well, I have started to segment people, but that's all :)
  • Oh golly, Darren Rows, unfriended Darren Rowse?! Bam, this is one of the greatest blogging disaster to date! LOL!

    On my part, I am not giving so much attention to followers and following...follow me if you want, but if I want you I will follow you...

  • Okay, mock me, bro. I deserve it. And you've mocking rights which you've not used to date. So it's all right. LOL
  • Lee
    According to Dunbar's theory the maximum number of people you can have in your direct social network is around 150 people. After that point and the relationships lose stability.

    This was worked out from research in social interaction starting with primates (and frankly there are some people in social media circles that I wouldn't rate much higher) but then through observations of villages and tribes and the degrees of social interactivity that could be maintained by an individual.

    I personally see that it makes sense that cognitively we would only be able to maintain a limited number of true connections before they become unstable in social media outlets such as Facebook and Twitter.

    That being said our level of relationship with our (for want of a better less condescending word) followers isn't always going to be on equal footing. I think we've spoken maybe 20 times on Twitter* and whilst you're one of my Tweeps, I don't consider you a friend in the social convention sense.

    What I'm saying is that it's better to have a smaller pack of true connections all of whom have their connections thus expanding your overall network.

    Oh and if anyone wants to be my friend on Facebook...


    *Actually sorry Jan I was thinking of someone else, I don't think I have spoken to you via Twitter - sheesh need to keep better tabs on my tweeps
  • Great observation, Lee. That makes sense to me. I'd try harder to go for more authentic connections this time. But first I must deal with hubris. Such a pain in the neck. :)

    Thanks a lot for your wonderful comment.
  • Lee
    You are most certainly welcome and I apologise for the mix up!

    I do also think that one method to achieving your 'power 150' is to build up a giant following list which will give you exposure to a wide range of people rather than say just the few you think you'd like to connect with and then taking that diverse group of people and filtering it back down.

    It's a bit like reaching a critical mass and it takes time to build up and then possibly even more time to refine it back down to the people you want to form connections with. If you focus too narrowly on the type of individual you hope to interact with as you grow your network you might miss out on some real surprising gems.

    So it's like an open casting call - everyone's welcome but in the end you are looking for particular people or for people to surprise you with the value they add to your circle of 'friends'. Trimming the hubris can be really great as you evaluate what you are looking for, it will teach you quite a bit.

    It all takes time but who doesn't want that power 150 or 151 if you like since there are no rules? ;)
  • This is the part when we come to realize the terms used in Facebook: How real is our 'friends' there? And we don't exactly have any 'fans' right? :) For once, a mass-unfriending tool seems useful for our problogger, but it won't be our luck to use it, at least not now. Yes, fan page will be more appropriate at this point. What a graceful thing to do by 'letting go'. :)

    Social/Blogging Tracker
  • I completely agree with you Ching Ya! I like this comment.
  • Thank you Hesham. :) I'm glad you feel the same.
  • It's good I only have a small following that I don't feel the need for a mass unfollow tool. I have a very noisy Facebook friend. It took me about 3 days to finally "hide" that person's updates.

    In Twitter, there's this app which recommends pages of users with dodgy behavior. Just the same, I go over each person's timeline just to make sure I only axe the spammers and unwanted characters.

    Oh, letting go is fine as long as it's me doing it. Ahehehe.
  • I don't know him Jan :) I have to Google his name first before I continued reading it, LOL!

    Well, he should have created a Fan Page and a Personal Facebook Account. Too bad, you cannot guide him now. Poor Darren :P
  • You and Jen need to go form a We Don't Know Darren Rowse Club. Seriously? You guys crack me up.

    It's only his personal FB page he wants to be strictly for his real friends. He's already set up his problogger fan page.

    It's quite simple really. My only problem is that I hate going there. Perhaps I need to have my head examined. Ahahaha
  • LOL! We Don't Know Darren Rowse Facebook FanPage. How's that? Can you be
    the moderator?
  • Shut up, Madz. Ahahaha. Gusto mo bahag ng Mangyan? Papadala ko sa yo. :)
  • Sure Jan :P My address is #622.... blah blah blah, LOL!
  • Big lose for Darren indeed , LOL!

    I am expecting Darren to make a post about this soon ehehhehe!
  • OMG man you're messin' with my intellectual crush!

    Can you DIG it?!?

    Seriously, I can see where he's going with this. He's already of course created or has always had a FB page for his friends and family, and wants to go to updating the Fan Page because he prefers the features. He wants to dump his public FB page going forward, but wants to be sure that his friends aren't sitting around wondering why he isn't updating, that they switch over to his Fan Page. He could post a message saying, "This page will no longer be updated. You can find me here *insert link*", but 83% of his public friends would miss it and think he dropped off the face of the Earth and plague him with "Dude, what HAPPENED to you, Bra??" messages and emails.

    I know about these things Jan. I don't know why, I just do. It's a gift. :P

    Regardless, good post. You crack me up.
  • darrenrowse
    thanks for getting it Heather :-)
  • I defer to your better judgment then. Ahehehe. Thanks!
  • anneonline
    I had often wondered why anyone needed to have 5000 friends. It would make sense for Darren to start a separation, but possibly starting a second personal account, as bloggista suggested, and having that for friends only would have been the better way to go. There has got to be a more diplomatic way of handling such touchy matters.

    And yes, Darren does smell like cheese! =)
  • darrenrowse
    and why do I smell like cheese? :-)
  • anneonline
    LOL I had to say what Jan was much too polite to say.
  • darrenrowse
    I considered a 2nd personal profile. There were two reasons I didn't:

    1. I'm told that facebook doesn't allow it. You can have unlimited 'pages' but not profiles (as they are supposed to be personal and you're only supposed to have one of you I guess).

    2. I didn't feel it'd solves some of the problems I was facing as it'd just mean I'd have more places to check online and it'd split my attention making me even less interactive. I also felt it wouldn't solve the problem of having a cap of 5000 friends and would duplicate what I was writing in different places (I wrote more about this in a comment above).
  • Yeah, why 5000 friends and indeed why follow 42000 twitteres? It's all a little weird if you ask me.
  • I read somewhere that the average person keeps 18 to 20 friends. But when a person goes online his/her chance for making more personal connections exponentially rises. I guess some genius made some arbitrary cap: "5,000 is the cap. Optimum benefits for users, less strain on our servers." LOL

    You're very naughty, Anne. I wrote this post precisely to keep myself from saying that. LOL

    Darren smells like any good cheese should.
  • say that with absolute confidence, and I find that disturbing. You know ;)
  • anneonline
    And here I thought you were replying to my palm frond comment above. lol
  • You should've, Jan. Think about it this way: How many people really think I'm some "famous American author"? (I'm looking at Rey and giggling.) Okay, two outta three ain't bad. Darren's never struck me as the sort to take his own celebrity too seriously, or the sort who has a stick up his butt. It's nothing personal. There are limits - if Facebook says "5000 friends," and Darren's there, how does he say no to Mr. or Ms. 5001? I don't know what the limit is on fan pages (obviously I haven't come close, yet, to finding out). I suspect it's somewhat higher. And it's just as interactive - or could be.

    Truly, blame Facebook for playing the high school popularity game and calling every connection or acquaintance a "friend." We do, eventually, start to think of some that way - but it's an odd appellation for someone who's just looking for blogging tips from one of the most financially successful bloggers out there.

    Be bold. Interact. Darren's human. He might like balut, but I suspect the sisig would have more appeal. Ask a question. Answer one - and not with the answer you think everyone would want to hear. This post is a good start, actually.
  • lol @ Holly! Well, you are to us! :p
  • darrenrowse
    I agree - be bold and interact. Yep I'm certainly busy as are most people in their lives - but I am more than open to interact where I can. I can't always do it on the level that some people wish as I have a lot of invitations but I am just a normal guy who likes normal stuff and am happy to hear from people :-)
  • Facebook was so cleverly designed for people like yourself who needs some privacy that's why Fan pages were made. Don't hate the word too much, after all, you sure deserve it.
  • I did interact with him on his Facebook page. My fault is that I did it rarely. Not much to make them rise to the top of 5, 000 updates and shares.

    Being bold is good. We can be bold without being noisy or a pain in the butt. I like that. :)
  • Oh well, if you have unfriended Mr Problogger, I guess I will have to follow your lead before he does it to me. I agree that it will feel pretty good, hehe. Anyway, I have no knowledge of "mass unfriending" on FaceBook. I will research on it and maybe I can do a post with it, lol. I agree with Jen btw
  • Someone suggested on Darren's page to try unfriending users in Facebook Lite rather than the regular Facebook interface. She said it was easier that way. But I didn't look into it. I only need to unfriend one person last night, after all. LOL
  • I don't even "KNOW" him Jan, Who is this person? alright , he's a problogger according to you, but what the h__, If I don't know him, then he's not really that popular...he he he...

    I'd rather be with my non-problogger friends but enjoy genuine friendship.

    A sensible move you've done there, bravo!
  • Darren is a great guy. Perhaps I should have dared him to eat balut or sisig when I still have the chance. And maybe something more personal could have been built around that adventure.

    You don't know him? OMG. That's one of the funniest things I heard in a long time.

    Hey, Jen. What happened to your makeover. You look like Brad Pitt in your gravatar. Ahahaha
  • darrenrowse
    Actually I've already eaten balut - wasn't something I really want to try again but it was certainly an experience. Sisig - tasted that too but.... one small mouthful was enough :-)

    I did enjoy my two weeks in the Philippines - the food was good on the whole although these two 'delicacies' are not really my cup of tea :-)
  • That's good to hear. You're a good sport like my friend Holly Jahangiri above. But she hasn't eaten sisig yet. She has some catching up to do.
  • Wow! That is great Darren...See guys, "balut" is not that exotic, huh...

    Hopefully the next you will be back here in the Philippines, all the people here at Jan's blog will have the opportunity to meet you in person, and Mam Jena is surely to bring that sizzling plate of sisig, eheheheh!
  • Haha, i only know his name because you blogged about him before - about things you did not learn from him. ..
  • LOLs i cannot imagine any blogger who doesn't know Darren. toinks! napatumbling ako dun ah
  • Sssh, hayaan mo na. Ikaw talaga. Ganun talaga, di naman lahat e star-struck
    na tulad ko. :)
  • Darren who? Who is this guy?
  • Hwahahha! You are Jan on a different world and blogging level indeed...eheheh!

    ReyJr is also asking who the hell is this guy..LOL
  • Hahhaha! Well, Mam Jena only know Darren Rows, or Raws or Rose...whatever! LOL!

    hahhaha! Naging shadow ng lalake ang gravatar ni Mam Jena, or is that the shadow of Darren Rowse looking over the discussion here? LOL!
  • If only Darren has ventured into poetry...about blogging tips, then just maybe he could have made a blip in Jen's radar. Can't help but grin every time I imagine Jen a bit confused, "Darren? Who he?" Ahehehe.
  • Uh, well, um...for some of us, our family and friends are our only fans, so we beg them to connect with us in BOTH places, but, um, yeah. (Says the author with 469 friends and only 134 fans...)

    Click and make me feel like a rock star!! ::giggle::
  • ha.. you got my support too Holly. Also Anne and ..wait, does Jan have a fan page that I don't know of?
  • I haven't completed setting one up. Can't see myself going over the 5K friend limit. :)

    Or maybe I could. And maybe by the time I chalk up the 5K mark there's a one-click functionality to do the tedious task of unfollowing en masse. Painless. Convenient.
  • Well said. Family and friends are good enough. And 99 percent of the time
    the only rock stars who matter.
  • Holly, I just became your 135th fan. :-) Rock on!
  • Thank you!! You're very kind. ;)
  • Anne! I like the way you think. ;) You can borrow him later while I take a dip in the pool. Deal?
  • anneonline
    I have friended and fanned you - uh, I get the image of you on a chaise lounge and me with a huge palm frond while some burly guy feeds you grapes one by one - but I digress. =)
  • He could have just created another user, like Darren Rowse (RFO) - real friends only... See? That would have been a bitter, err, better solution than 'ufriending' 5,000 friends! Dude, that's a lot to click and surely would give him a sore thumb afterwards.

    I tried 'unfriending' 200 FB friends and it made my fingers shake for some time... geeezzz.
  • and Darren could now have a new name, Darren Sore. LOL
  • That's my new nickname? Sore? Not anymore, bro. I got over it already. LOL
  • Hehehhe! Thist post has really generated a great discussion here...maybe you should have introduced who Darren is first wahhahah!
  • Ahehehe. I like that tag. Serves notice right at the get-go...This is one
    area wherein Twitter beats Facebook. Lots of third party tools for mass
    unfollowing users. But perhaps there's a reason for that. Facebook is more
    personal while Twitter is like a market.
  • fielsvd
    omg! 5T friends? grabe! wala bang friend limit ang fb?
  • Five thousand is the cap for Facebook friends. Beyond that you can still connect with a user if he has a Facebook fan page. Darren has reached his 5 K limit. No more room for his real life friends. It's hard to say to your real life friends, "Don't worry, guys. Just connect with me on my fan page." We don't do that to friends, do we? :)
  • fielsvd
    so, more or less, i still have 4000 available slots, hehe.
  • fielsvd
    hahaha. it was only last week when i hit the 1000+ friend mark in facebook. but yes, i have more than 2T friends in friendster.
  • That's a big surprise for me, Father. You're very popular. But then again
    maybe most of your fans are still in Friendster? :)
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