You Smell Like Cheese!

by Jan Geronimo on February 8, 2010

You smell like cheese!

That’s the parting shot Nutshellmail encourages its users to throw at those who unfollow them on Twitter.  Nutshellmail, by the way, is a Twitter application that sends me via email digests of my Twitter and Facebook friends updates.  It’s cool in that it also reports new followers and individuals who unfollow me.

Unmitigated freaks.  Bah.

You will have guessed by now.  I’m a strong believer in tit for tat. I have no guilt unfollowing right back.  I look forward to the maniacal glee of punching that unfollow button.  Not exactly like guillotine chopping off heads, but in my mind that will have to do.

Until today.

A celebrity blogger who I hold in the highest esteem unfollowed me.

Jesus Christ.  What have I done to earn his distrust?  I read almost everything he’s promoted.  I know his children by name and “liked” them when their pictures show on his media updates. I read his blog religiously and leave comments the few times I feel confident to share my opinion.

Nutshellmail whispers, “Get back at him. Tell him he smells like cheese.

I balk.  A grown up man, am I not?  I can live this down.  This is nothing but a minor setback.  It’s not as if we’re drinking buddies.  I’d go on with my dignity intact.  Easy choice.

But I have to preserve my sanity.  Can’t afford a meltdown because of this tempest in a teacup.

So here goes:  You are an insufferable peacock, sir.  And you smell like cheese.  With all due respect, sir.”

There.  I felt better now.

PS:  For the life of me, I haven’t got the nerve to unfollow my idol. He’s far too invaluable to let go.  At least, that’s how I feel at this time.

Photo byKaptain Kobold

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  • Dude, that is some good stuff.

    I think people are going to think twice before they "Unfollow" you. And don't worry - you are way to good for him anyway. There are plenty of fish in the sea. You'll find someone else to "Follow" you.

    Do you feel better yet?

    Take care Jan,

    Brian M Connole,
  • It’s interesting, how big following people on Twitter has become. Following can be useful for SEO purposes, as well as for personal reasons.
  • julius
    I'm not a big fan of social sites, and to tell you honestly, I use Facebook only because of Farmville... hehe...

    But nevertheless, I like your reaction and the "you smell like cheese" stuff.

    It makes me wonder... does someone ever smelled of freshly died toenails?

    Just a thought... :P
  • Felt a little wiser now since I wrote this. The connection primarily
    existed only in my mind then on the flimsy basis I've followed him. I even
    adopted his lead - trimming my following list of people who I don't feel a
    personal connection with. yeah, that means I smell like cheese, too. I
    draw the line, however, at smelling like dead toenails. :)
  • Hahaha, That's almost too good. I haven't seen that service before - I get a digest of tweets mentioning me, but haven't really seen a service that offers a digest of unfollows.

    I have to admit though, I was bad once and unfollowed 90% of the people on my list. Most of them were spammers though so they deserved it ;)

    Never had anyone tell me I smell like cheese though. Lol..
  • Same here, thanks Jan for introducing us to this service! haha
  • Luke
    Nicely written, Jan. You have a truly unique way of expressing yourself.
  • Thanks, Luke. Are you on blogging hiatus still? We kinda miss you. No,
    that's a lie. We terribly miss you. Cyberslovokia needs you to make us a
    little more secure with your advice on safe computing. :)
  • Luke
    I'm just around here somewhere enjoying the posts and conversation.

    Cyberslovokia? lol You really have a way with words.
  • Ahehehe. More of that where it came from. Wish I could claim it as my own. The happy wordsmith is Heather, and if you've the time, you can check out her blog. Swiped it from Heather's post about Facebook fan page:
  • waaH! bam! 103 comments and counting on this very funny heart-wrenching post!? LOL!

    I am very happy you are back and it is just so bad of me to come too late ehehhe!

    You are really one big faithful fan bro...that is great of you, really admire you especially when you post a very funny blog rant like this, LOL
  • Matagal na kaya me nakabalik. Patago-tago nga lang... Natawa ka ba sa
    kaeklatan ko? Not intended. Just want to write away my irritation. I must
    grow up, bro. I've been always wearing my heart on my blogging sleeves.
    Baka lalo me tumanda sa blogging niyan. Ahehehe
  • and you are one hell of a writter when you are ranting ehehhhe!

    hay, great, blogging keeps us all sane...
  • I realize ranting makes me a good target for a counter-rant. Or ridicule.
    But it can be liberating when done in moderation. How many friends have I
    lost because of my enthusiastic rants. Good Lord. Secret! Ahhaha. See
    how liberating it can be?

    But I miss a couple of them sometimes in the dead of the night. Where are
    they now? Maybe I was unnecessarily harsh and unthinking?

    Who knows, right? Blogs are written on the run. Can't be perfect. Can't
    afford to keep looking back and sideways, lest I stumble into a ditch or cow

    Maybe friendship online can have that rare magical moments - when past hurts
    and misunderstanding can be shelved aside, knowing we pass this way only
    once. And when we find that our biases and pet notions are not written in
    stone, after all.
  • aargh, my Firefox just crashed on me and dumped my initial delcious response, so now I just have time to say, you made me laugh, and fate must have drawn me here this a.m. after I had just received my own message of 'those who smell like cheese' thx for the laugh JG
  • Thanks. Comments from friends indeed smell like perfect home cooked meals.
  • Silly me. For days (or weeks) I have been trying to leave a comment here but I just couldn't find the Add Comment thingy. Goodness cheese! It's all way up here not down there.

    Honestly (and you can say 'amen' to this), I suck at social network stuffs. I got twitter but don't really use it a lot. I don't have plurk or friendfeed. Got LinkedIn but I shun posting blog posts in there.

    So I can't relate much or don't feel the same "pain?" when someone unfollows me. Unless of course its you Jan, or elmot, or Doc. LOL. When you do, I wont be just sending cheese, but maggots, cow poos and rotten rocks. :-)
  • You seem fixated on what's downstairs. What does that say about you? LOL.
    Can't help feeling like a star-struck promdi. In my mind, I know I can give
    as well as take - tweet for tweet - with these guys. But in real life it's
    something else. To get a validation of one's self worth from consorting with
    the big guys - hay, that's snobbish behavior. So in a sense I cried out in
    irritation. But if it's not already evident I wrote it partly to mock myself
    for my pathetic behavior.... Nope, your real life buddies are way too deep
    to get ourselves out of your reach. We're hopeless. Can't run, can't
    hide. Ahahaha
  • Ohh hmm, got this habit of looking at the top first, spend sometime in there, then scan quickly down to the bottom (the footer is way down there I ain't looking at it much - hehe)... The fixation is just but natural Iguess. LOL.

    Your comment form is at the bellybutton part of your blog, er, should I say, mid-section... Unless the blog is stripped of its theme, then it would probably be easier for me to look at everything. LOL.
  • That's funny. Especially, the part where you get back at him in a civilised way lol!
    I noticed that in Twitter sometimes the follow and unfollow shifts like crazy. I bet it's a glitch.

    Finally, I have internet at our new place.
  • Some people use scripts to auto follow. Same with auto unfollow. Once
    these guys reach the max follow for the day, they start purging their
    follower list to circumvent the cap on the number of people they can
    follow. Very irritating.

    But some users do purge their list to have a better user experience and that
    is okay. Life will be a lot easier if we get rid of spammers and users we
    share no interests with.

    Update on this little drama: My idol has followed me back without me having
    to bash my head against the wall. So you are right. It was a glitch. Much
    ado about nothing. Ahehehe
  • janebenimble
    Hmmm, I like the smell of cheese. Now what?
    (Sorry you were unfollowed -- life will go on -- I promise.)
    Hope all is well for you!
  • Got it written down and filed away. Doesn't bother me anymore. Thanks. :)
  • joshhanagarne
    If it helps, cheese is my favorite food:)
  • I love cheese, too. The writer who cooked up that parting shot was a bit
    off on this one. :)
  • Never to unfollow you Sir Jan! Will lost one of the precious tweets of an influential blogger here in the sphere. Ayts!
  • Oh, never say never, my friend. Pero thanks. I appreciate it very much. :)
  • I Like Cheese cake and Various items of cheese
  • Luke
    Whoa! What is this?
  • Hey, Jan, I like the name of this commenter on your blog post, ehehehehe!
  • Okay, I get it. LOL
  • Does cheese go with spam?
  • Roy

    don't forget the "mayo"

  • What can i say people have different reasons just do not mind it. Anyway, we are following you sir. It just makes me think now that senuke is good to use. Easy to follow and of course easy to unfollow people in twitter. Btw, Happy Valentines day. :)
  • Thanks po, Ma'am Paige. Ahehehe.
  • Ma'am Paige daw..nagpapatawa ata si sir..heheheheh! :)
  • Malayo po atang mangyari un. Mahilig lang ako mangarap hahahahha! :)
  • Kasi you're the professor of love and love poems. Ahehehe
  • Jan,

    Unbelievably funny, although I feel your angst regarding your idol. If you were to unfollow me, I would be equally devastated but I would probably still send you a "smell like cheese" email, in the absurd hope it would show you how really goofy and special I am.

  • That's one drawback of thinking like a fan - afraid to engage the other
    fellow in conversation. Lurking, keeping a respectful distance can backfire
    just like in my case. Lesson learned, George. Lesson learned.
  • fifi
    hi jan! i've been busy lately so i hadnt checked blogs although i had been lurking in fb for most of my online time.

    that is really one downside of an online interaction; you could never really assume how the other party is taking your comments, or your efforts to communicate with them. it disappoints, true but you could always make use of the fact that there are people who are sincere in dealing with you just as you are to them. breathe, let go. there'll be more to come and go.
  • Easy accessibility in he social media can lead to a lot of false
    assumptions, including the appearance of friendship when clearly there's
    none to begin with. Okay, breathe and let go. Ahehehe.
  • Oh well. If the "celebrity" unfollowed" you despite being an avid reader of his blog, then I am in total agreement that you should reciprocate and do the same thing, unless of course in was an "accidental" move. Sometimes I accidentaly unfollow someone I would not like to unfollow and I quickly follow them back. This generally happens when I perform a clean up:) Anyway, for qhat its worth, I am following you no matter what, lol. Hope all is well with you my freind
  • On balance, it's not as bothersome as when friends unfollow you. That's
    clear to me at least. In retrospect, it's unnecessary drama really. I
    intend to get a better handle of this in the days ahead. :)
  • Jan, you crack me up three ways and upside-down. Tempest in a teacup? This post is so gloriously bitchy.

    Perhaps the unfollow was an accident? Maybe they have one of those programs that auto-unfollows people who aren't following them back, and there was a glitch? I once checked to see if somebody was following me, and a program told me they weren't. But when I checked Twitter, they were in fact following me.

    P.S. SO glad you feel better. Anyone who unfollows you must be boh-ring.
  • That entered my mind, too. That it could have been a glitch. That's why I
    tempered the bitchiness. :)
  • I probably shouldn't admit to this one - but try unfollowing him (without the insult), then the next day, follow him again.
  • Nice trick. :) But I'd pass.
  • I almost fell off my chair! You are so freaking funny. You would be a great character for a book, only how would anyone write you? Only you can come up with such "Janisms".
  • I'm glad there's still an audience for bumbling buffoons like me... I know I
    shouldn't take myself so seriously but I can't help it. LOL. There's
    something to said indeed for holding onto the beta version of yourself.
  • Because it said "celebrity blogger", I immediately knew it wasn't me. Hehe :P

    Kidding aside, I would never unfollow you Jan. I won't even think of doing it. To me you're not just a regular blogging buddy, I consider you as a real friend although we haven't met yet. Hehe ;)

    Btw, that NutShellMail feature reminds me of Qwitter and how I used it before. I found it useless so I stopped using it.
  • Thanks, Jaypee... Qwitter floods you with email notifications which can be
    quite a chore. Didn't like it either.
  • i think i have a line for him: "sir, can i punch you sir?" just kidding.. that's just disgusting right? but as you implied in the post, life must go on :)
  • Can't ask him permission. Don't want to give him the time to duck out of
    harm's way. LOL. Thanks, Dimaks.
  • Cheese smells nice for me. :D. Your blog made my hungry, lolo. :D haha. Kidding.

    Good thing that you didn't unfollow him. :D. 'cause that proved that you're an avid fan. :D In situations like that, I don't really care if my idols don't reply on my posts blah blah.. but it's a great pleasure if they do. :D. Ahhh. just like when Marie' Digby replied on my nonsense tweet. hahah.

    Lolo, don't feel bad. Don't worry. You're not the only one. Haha. JUST SING THE SONG 'PAPARAZZI' by LADY GAGA. :D. Haha. I think that will fit. :D. hahah.


    Ang inyong apo,
    Camille. :D
  • Thanks, Camille. I got over it already. Writing it down helped a lot. It
    looked somewhat ridiculous complaining about a thing like that. Eh bakit
    ba? Gusto kong sulatin eh, ano magagawa nila. Ahehehe. Yeah, the next
    time I got irritated I'd sing that one by Lady Gaga. Pero first option ko
    un Bad Romance. Love that. LOL
  • And I wouldn't be shocked if ever I saw you dancing like LG. hahah. I do it at school. when walk with my classmates, i just dance like her crazily sometimes. HAHAH.
  • Maybe I will. But somebody has to pay me in dollars. Sayang ang showman
  • dollars yun. :)). lol. engot magtype. hahah
  • MGa 2 dollards? pwede na po? hahah. lol.
  • Hahah. Perfect po kasi yung paparazzi e.
    "I'm your biggest fan. I'll follow you until you love me. Papa.. Paparazzi."

    I watched the MV of Bad Romance at school. {huwwwat? at school?] YES. hahah. On my classmate's phone. Hahah. I think I've watched it for three times. Hahah. I watched it again here at home and asked my brother, "Ang galing ni Lady Gaga no? Grabe. yung suot niya makikitaan na tapos sayaw pa rin nang sayaw. Si madonna kaya kaya to?" and then he answered, "Madonna can wear dresses like those but i don't think she can dance while wearing them."

    HAHAH. Pero kahit ganon manamit si lady gaga at medyo may pagkafreak pagdating sa music videos, I still adore her musicianship. Galing niya e. :))=)).
  • You're correct parang mas appropriate yun Paparazzi although I'd draw the
    line at stalking. Dyahe naman un. And I admit she's quite good actually.
    Can't get her songs out of my mind. Humanap na kaya ako ng magtatawas or
    psychic? Ahehehe
  • Hahah. nagiging parang stalker din ako minsan pag addict na addict ako sa idol ko. hahah
  • And who could possibly be this celebrity Jan?

    Oh well, anyway, thanks for sharing Nutshellmail, I would love to have one :)

    Jan, I remember one time I unfriend someone from Facebook, LOL!
  • Never mind, Minnie. Had already pouted and stomped my feet. Let us just
    talk about the time you had unfriended someone at FB. Have you written
    about this yet? Do tell us. :)
  • Not yet Jan. And I guess never will I, he he he.

    Well, I just basically commented on his photo then [telling him that he
    looked like someone]. Then another one commented and shouted out, Michael
    V. And then I said YES! Then he suddenly commented something harsh towards
    me. I believe that's something like "Put asphalt on my face to make it fine
    and clear" [as if he is handsome - but he's NOT, LOL!]. Honestly, I am
    offended. So, I click the REMOVE From Friends Button, :P And it feels

    Ang babaw ba? he he he..
  • You did right, Madz. Spare yourself from the unnecessary drama...Maybe he
    had a bad day. Maybe he skipped breakfast and was grumpy. But his reaction
    was uncalled for. Is he a blogger? Did he write about his experience like
    you know who? Ahehehe
  • Good thing Jan, he is not a blogger. He is just an ordinary social media
    user who cannot accept the fact that he looked like Michael V, LOL! I don't
    understand why he would get offended by that, it should make him proud
    right? :)
  • Perhaps he fancies he's more of the Gerald Anderson mold. You know, like
    Elmot and Yatot. Lots of them around pala. The only difference is that our
    good friends can take a joke and this joker cannot.
  • For as long as he won't fancy to look like Matt Damon and Nicholas Cage,
    there's no problem with me Jan, LOL!
  • Wow. I'm impressed. I'd draw the line when it comes to Matt and Nicholas,
    too. Maybe not too much as regards Nicholas, but Matt? Now, that's an
    awesome actor.
  • Oh, he is.. Jason Borne :)
  • Moo
    I'd like to say to some species "you smell like a goat" but that is definitely another issue. Ahhahaha...
  • But goats are lovely creatures, Moo. LOL
  • I hate cheese, and the smell urgh..
    i still not follow your twitter, follow it now.. and trust me i will never smell like cheese.. never.. :D
  • To not smell like cheese is a good starting point. Can't go wrong with
    that, I'm sure. Okay, I'd connect with you in Twitter. :)
  • I tried to figure out who is this cheesy celebrity you are referring to. I read all the comments, but didn't find any lead. Maybe you can give us more hints (LOL)...
  • He's a tech blogger. Someone at the top of his game. I didn't mean to make
    it sound like he's done a bad thing. We do this ourselves every day to keep
    those who matter to us and let go of those who don't. It's an impersonal
    decision on his part, something I'd do myself to keep my social media
    presence manageable. Until, of course, when it's me at the receiving end of
    it. Ahahaha. I should try harder to grow a much thicker hide, I suppose.
  • Aha... still hard to figure out... anyways, I'll check this post tomorrow (it's already late at night)- but not to stalk this "tech blogger"...

    bdw, I liked the way you handled the situation... at the end, you felt better about it... good night!
  • He he he, Jan, he's not worth keeping, anyway , right? sincya? lol . Do I know him? You've got a thousand followers. And we'll always be here.
  • A very cool blogger. But I got over with the disappointment already. It
    might seem pathetic complaining about this, but writing it down made it less
    of a disappointment. Yeah, I've got you and my friends. It's so silly of
    me really - not appreciating what I already have. Ahahahaha
  • I understand that may not be the best thing on Twitter. Well if it means something you know we won't be unfollowing you; although we're not famous, but we're here to cheer you on. :)

    I hope your idol gets the chance to know you better someday.

    Social/Blogging Tracker

  • Hey, thanks a lot. For what it's worth, we're still Facebook friends.
    Maybe it's just one of those routine purges to lessen the noise in Twitter.
    It's not as horrible as someone like you or Holly or Heather or Jen cutting
    off connections with me. Now, that's really the pits in my book. At worst,
    this was just an ego-bruising experience. Ahehehehe. Surely it's not that
    fatal, this little episode. :)
  • Aww. I wuff you too. Or is that whiff?
  • bah! forget him. :P

  • Done. Imagining him being dragged by a banana boat in choppy waters - bouncing up and down like a rag doll surely helps.
  • He he he, that's Rey, right? in the speedboat...he he he.
  • Oh no. Hahah. I hope the driver of that boat never gets to read that story, lol! That'd be too awkward.
  • Yes, it's Rey. Very memorable post, that one.
  • I absolutely love the smell like cheese idea. I would have unfollowed him/her! I don't care who they are, if they cut the line then they deserve to lose the lot, meaning my patronage.

    I use Friend Or Follow to regularly check who's cut my line. I find that a lot do it as soon as I follow them, so they were never interested in the first place.
  • Friend or Follow is a good service, too. I've used it before. It beats me
    how I've forgotten all about it... I'm keeping my cheesy friend though. A
    good reminder to never take things for granted from now on.
  • Did you leave a link to that in your post because I couldn't see it?
  • Damn. I thought that was the name of a blogger. Now I feel really dumb.
  • Come on. Really? Okay, I promise not to laugh. Loudly. :)
  • It's NutShellMail, Sire. Aside from daily digests of friends updates, follows and unfollows, you can also retweet and replywith it sitting on your email. I've found it when I looked for a Twitter app for a friend whose office he works for bans Twitter.
  • No, I meant to the program that contacted you when people stopped following. :D
  • A link to my cheesy idol? No, I didn't. He's well within his rights to follow or unfollow anybody. It will look as though I were just dying to get his attention so I get to be followed again. I'm just letting off steam :)
  • Wow. I didn't know he was using Twitter. I guess I have to pay more attention to my followers, I don't even know if I have any celebrity followers, well, other than you :)

    By the way, I love the smell of (fresh) cheese. That's probably because my favorite dinner is pizza. In that sense, not sure if throwing the "you smell like cheese" is such a bad thing really :)
  • That's it right there. That explains my hesitation to use that put-down.
    Because in my book the smell of cheese brings pleasant memories. I should
    have known better. Now, I remember - one of my best friends in high school
    did smell like ripe bananas. LOL
  • I know right? Cheese smells OK, unless it's rotten cheese. Then again, anything rotten smells snarky.
  • ripe bananas, woah! that's a lot worse than cheese LOL
  • Ahehehe. I just hope he doesn't stumble into this comment section. Else,
    I'd have lots of explaining to do. :)
  • anneonline
    I love the tentative retort and the nicely placed 'sir' to maintain a respectful dislike of the situation. For shame Jesus unfollowed you. You can be sure I will NOT be doing the same. =)
  • I'd always risk looking a tad foolish for a brief moment of relief. Ego -
    or is it pride - can be such a nasty little devil. Thanks, Anne.
  • Roy
    if you haven't mentioned "celebrity blogger," I'll think you were referring to me, but I don't recall unfollowing you Jan.

    wait a minute...


    hey! I do smell like cheese!

    okay. care to give me the scoop Jan?

    (btw, I'm trying to RT this, but until now I can't log in on my twitter :( )

  • Amor
    Hahaha. Natawa ako sa comment mo Kuya Roy! :)

    Nacurious naman ako sa celebrity tech blogger na yan, umiiral pagka chismosa ko hehe.

  • Roy
    haha! because the description perfectly fits me Amor... Jan knows my kids, he followed my every posts, tweets, and FB status updates... and I even found out I smell like cheese too! that is after eating bread with cheese spread for breakfast.

    the only missed part is the "celebrity blogger" tag hehe... whew! that's when I breathe sigh of relief :-)

  • Like a lead actor in a bad telenovela, I keep tab of celebrity blogger in
    other social media. Pa-martyr effect ba. And yes, for what it's worth we're
    mutual friends there still. Maybe he just doesn't like my tweets.
  • You're an influential blogger, Roy. I wouldn't dream of offending you with a smelly post. Ahehehe. I'd think about it muna. Nakakahiya eh. LOL
  • Roy
    okay then, I'll camp here 'til you tell me

  • Roy
    it's okay Jan, finally!

    now, if I can just get back to writing

  • If? Why, is it because of - to use a line of Jen's poem - exquisite tremors
    occasioned by Valentine tryst? Settle down, take a deep breath, and as per
    usual (why do I have to say this ghastly expression? Beats me. lLOL) write
    until your thoughts bleed on the page. Look who's talking now. Ahehehehe
  • Roy
    not totally Jan, there are still some problems with my blogs, and I still can't figure out how to solve them. Maybe a coffee over bonfire would do me good
  • I volunteer Jhong. Weekend naman eh. Baka may spare siyang oras. :)
  • Roy
    Darn! I've been away too long!

    my campfire died down :(

    oh well, I'll just make another one

  • No worries, Roy. You're a good scout master. :) Glad you're back in the
    saddle again.
  • Roy
    see, I told you I'm setting camp here

  • Waaaah. Oh my, this is embarrassing. :)
  • maybe it was unintentional?
  • Maybe, maybe not. He's pruning his list of followers perhaps to manage the noise. It's his call really. :)
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