Image by kabun via FlickrGoodbye to you my friend. I’m giving you up now even before the year ends. I will start 2009 afresh and with personal growth in mind. Without you.
We’ve been great friends. You were with me in college – by the sheer force of your presence I thought I had gotten an aura of coolness. For an extremely introverted nerd who was insecure in his place in the universe your help got me through that awkward phase.
I have fallen in and out of love. And through these highs and lows you were a constant, trusty companion: the lusty party animal in our heady celebrations and a consoling booster every time I got dumped for a better man.
When I had tried to take my own life eons ago you were there – a partner in an almost consummated crime. And though you were not responsible for springing me back to life, you held your ground and never abandoned me.
You have been a great crutch every time ennui got to me. When every day seemed to unfold with the same dreariness your presence anesthetized this awfulness and made it more bearable.
Nearly thirty years after that initial puff, I have come to my senses. You’re not a life affirming friend after all. You belong to the dark side. Hahaha. You’re insinuating yourself into my destructive impulses. And you must go.
True, you have hardwired your influence into my brain for years. But I will start anew. I refuse to believe your stronger and grittier than I am. I refuse to believe that I can be made to dance around your little finger any longer. I refuse to believe that a mere cigarette can claim dominion over my life. Because I have intellect and will and I intend to use it. A fellow blog author Brandon Gilbert said it well in his life-affirming post. And I felt as if he were personally addressing me to make good on my personal growth agenda:
You decide. You manifest. You rule. This is why you are here. This is what you came to discover. You were born to experience your absolute dominion over every flimsy, malleable illusion of time and space; to have, do, and be anything.
Thanks, Brandon. I can already feel the universe conspiring to make me succeed. Indeed, it has got my back covered.
Goodbye, Mr. Morris. You have outlived your usefulness
I’m reclaiming my life back.
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