How Do You Tell a Blogging Buddy His Style Sucks?

by Jan Geronimo on June 4, 2009

Blogging for Cats
Image by Vicki’s Pics via Flickr

No question about this – in your majestic little universe your blog rocks. So how do you tell your blogging buddy you find some disagreeable stuff in his blog?   After all you are his blogging buddy, right?

So what’s in your laundry list of complaints? Let me tell you mine.

Choice personal pet peeves:

1. Obsession with high paying keywords. Think sex scandal. Sex video scandal. Or Naruto. Or that strange sounding medical condition.

2. Religious Zealot . Always dismissive of the other person’s beliefs or non-beliefs.   Always bringing God into the picture to solve a knotty problem.   Give God a break, for crying out loud. He has far more important things to do. Really.

3. Fat target for the grammar police. Keep your copy clean of errors in spelling and verb – subject agreement. You know, the basic stuff.

4. When you’re full of sh_t. Don’t look elsewhere. Try me. I’m full of myself sometimes that I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a symptom of a more sinister disease. But I’m lucky. One of you has the guts to tell me that. Thank you, buddy.

5. Crossing the line. Red flag: that buddy is getting too familiar with you? Should you tell him/her to buzz off and never to cramp your style again? It’s a puzzlement indeed.

6. Paid posts. This is a gray area. But one thing is clear: I will not comment on paid posts. It’s your thing? Well, I’d come back later when you’re done with posts-that-pay-for-your-utilities. Exceptions: Kindle2 and Thesis theme sales pitch. I’d be there wringing my hands, telling you how gorgeous your post is.

Honesty pays

Is it presumptuous to be honest with your friends or online buddies? Granted that you’re tactful and you’re at that level when you can be truly honest with each other, it is not presumptuous. It’s even a hallmark of a deep friendship that you can take the wise words of your friends with humility.

Ah, you’re just starting out. You don’t know each other well. Proceed with caution then. Use tact. And be compassionate about it.

A note on keywords obsession

Anyway, I have stopped visiting bloggers who have unhealthy obsession with nothing but web search traffic. Nothing personal. I just need human conversation and not SEO gibberish. But hey, if I know you personally, then maybe I can still read you in the safety of my feed, vainly hoping you’d wise up. Otherwise, I’d rather discover new blogs, new friendships.

So what is it you’re dying to tell your blogging buddy? Have you found the right timing to come clean with it? Or do you just let sleeping dogs lie? Out with it, guys.

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  • ouch...tinamaan ako sa "A note on Keyword Obsession"....yap i do practice seo now pero marunong rin naman akong makinig at magbasa ng mga blog post lalo na kung personal fact may personal blog din ako na hindi ko ginagamitan ng in pure post with feelings and emotions lang dun..salamin baga ng buhay....hehehehe

    And eventhough i practice seo..i always make sure na lahat ng mga blog post ko eh may quality content para naman may mapupulot din na useful informations and mga readers ko..un lang po..

    Peace po tayo kuya jan..i am a human conversationalist..amen!! :)
    .-= Chris | Crisiboy.Com´s last blog ..iPhone 3GS Coming this July from Globe Telecom =-.
  • this point, uncle jan, is a concrete example of the cliche "easier said than done." for how do you, indeed, tell a blogging pal that his writing sucks in a way that s/he won't take it against you? there's a lot in my list of online friends who tend to write about nothing but gibberish (and i'm not even starting on simple lapses in S-V agreement) and the sad part is, i annot pull up honesty to tell them upfront that their blog post sucks, for lack of a better term.

    i believe that if you don't have anything good to say, then better zip your tongue lest you earn the ire of someone you've already regarded as belonging to your circle of friends. what i normally do is i don't drop a comment if the post really sucks. but if the blogger knows me well enough to understand that i have only his/her best interest in mind in dropping the not-so-good line, then i do tell him/her what i think pointblank.
    .-= lio loco´s last blog ..SSDD No. 3 =-.
  • Jan Geronimo
    @lio loco: Wow, that's a real problem. I wouldn't feel safe in their company then. Baka di na ako sikatan ng araw. Ahahaha.
  • wow, i didn't know you'd reply. ngek. i miss your old blog where i get notified of replies to comments. or am i not clicking some buttons to have them activated?

    it's great to have friends online and it is a relief to be reading posts where you are not subjected to someone else's angst against the world. i remembered the time when i was in a blog war with someone, i really got exhausted drawing all my negative vibes to write a post that would surely annoy the other person. as if people reading my posts would care about my grudge against such person. so i learned and removed all posts that the other person would consider to be directed against her. that was my way of moving on from whatever issue we may have against each other.

    so it was a surprise for me to find your blog who welcomes its readers. or maybe my paranoia just got the better of me and i couldn't believe people being friends online.
    .-= fifi´s last blog ..winning a freebie online for the first time =-.
  • Jan Geronimo
    Well, there's good news for you. I can email you my reply to your comment. JS-Kit is pretty handy, but I was in it only for the commentluv plugin. And WP always has commentluv as a matter of course.

    That's good news, Fifi. You lead a very busy life - studies, work and blogging. Not to mention your private life. It's a wise move to get rid of preoccupations that have a dire effect on you achieving your goals. Enmity saps your energy that will be better spent productively elsewhere. Besides, it's bad for the health.

    That's an admirable thing to do, Fifil. I'm glad you have let go... Well, not all who claim they're your online friends have your best interest at heart. Time will reveal who really are the real deal. So my advice is don't lose your skepticism - just don't let it stand in the way of meeting lovely, genuine people too much. :)
  • ahhaha! don't worry, i got your back well-covered wehehe
    [rq=1327,0,blog][/rq]Dont' Vote on May 2010!!! No To Con-A** Holes!
  • i think i would go raiding after your #1. i get so much irritated with blog posts than only hooks me on to their articles with the mere fact that twisted google's search engine using some seo techniques and i would end up on their page reading nothing of sense. that is something that really sucks and is totally sick!

    <abbr>elmot’s last blog post..Know the Origin of A(N1H1)</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Elmot, that particular point about keywords? I think I have managed to offend a number of readers about that already. Me and my big mouth. So hush now, little bro. You might get black marks, too. :)
  • It seems there are 2 intersecting issues here Jan: first, that of informing, or rectifying a blog that sucks which is tantamount to voicing out a norm on what shouldn't suck; and second, the emotional residues that a "sucking blog" trigger, and the need to express those within a safe time and space.

    <abbr>dfish’s last blog post..DesertFishing’s 30 Most Read Posts</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    That's an interesting consideration, Dfish. The chances of me alienating my friends will be lessened if I take care to follow your suggestions. Rest assured though that I have no intention of inflicting my version of a blogging standard on my friends and buddies.

    Perhaps I've not made it very clear at the outset that for me to be able to be that forthcoming with my buddies certain conditions must be met. For example, that the online friendship has progressed to the point that it can withstand candidness on both sides, that it can listen to honest discussion and differences of opinions and tastes. Only then can I have the confidence to speak my mind and be preposterous as to say to him/her: your blog sucks because of this and that.

    That I concede maybe unconventional, unFilipino even, but we all could use some honesty as pillar of our online friendship.

    Of course, I will not sacrifice my friends self-esteem just because I need to be reassured I have this sublime taste in what makes a blog superb. I haven't sunk to that lowest of lows yet, I'd like to reassure you.

    I just want to have that option - that I can press that button in case of emergency, beat my chest to stress my high priest role in all this, and blurt out in an outraged and self-important voice: "Your blog offends me. You suck. Mend your ways..."
  • Well-explained Jan. I agree - candidness is more likely to be productive within a sphere of trust among ones blogging buddies. Trust is an essential ingredient to let others know that a feedback is well-intentioned rather than ill-advised to further dismantle a blogger's vulnerable sides.

    <abbr>dfish’s last blog post..DesertFishing’s 30 Most Read Posts</abbr>
  • Hi Jan, how about my blogging style :) Let me know naman the
    truth if what will be needed to improve it. Let me know your comment
    and I will accepted your critic with full heartedly....hehe :) thanks!


    <abbr>Julius Orias’s last blog post..Become an Online Investigator</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Oh please, don't get me started, Julius. I don't do this for a living, you know? It's just me expressing a long held set of pet peeves. Now that I've said it? I'm happy as I can possibly be again. Well, that will be a hard thing to do - this thing you asked me, but I will think about it. Can't promise you anything though. :)
  • And Jan, you can stop calling me Mam Jena, I'm sick of it at work. (with an impish grin, not a vicious frown.)

    <abbr>Jena Isle’s last blog post..Poets and Poems</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    As you wish, Jena. :)
  • Jan Geronimo
    @Mam Jena:

    "It seems you’ve projected that “swaggering ” persona in your post."
    Me: Duly noted.

    "Ask Roy what he thought initially about you, oops…he he he…."
    Me: I will, Mam Jena.

    "I know my blog’s theme and layout are lousy but I’m just here to write and enjoy myself."
    Me: Why, Mam Jena, that's just me reassuring myself I've remained steadfast to my basic idea for the post despite the minor disturbance my ideas may have caused my readers.

    It's a playful threat - best appreciated for its bark more than it's bite. :)
  • If you're really a true friend. Saying things like that isn't that hard. For you know he will surely understand and might even thank you for saying so.
  • Jan Geronimo
    Thank you. :)
  • hi jan, i am guilty at number 3. sometimes even if i read my post twice or 3 times i still miss my errors. anyway, tao lang. i do accept corrections in comments by the way, i don't mind. with regards to paid posts, i have a friend who actually inspired me to blog who has more paid posts than unpaid ones. you are right, sometimes it is really not interesting to read paid posts but i don't blame him. he actually earns decent and more than i earn from my job. his wife earns also online and their combined income allowed them to make a down payment and monthly ammortization for a house they are now living in. and if they start earning decent through adsense, probably, they will let go of paid posts...

    <abbr>lemuel’s last blog post..Influena A(H1N1) Scare</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    I have looked at it in terms of aesthetics only, Lemuel. It doesn't work for me because the paid posts I've come across with are not so for me. Therein lies my indifference. It's only for this that I ignore them. It doesn't excite me at all.

    The economic benefits to a person doing paid posts is another matter entirely. I have no quarrel with that. Every little thing helps, especially during this time of economic meltdown and uncertainty. In that case, I have no beef against bloggers who do paid posts.

    How can I by the way when I don't read them at all. Hehehe.
  • haha, so I'm not qualified for your Influential Blogger my dear LJ. My blog is full of sh*t (paid posts) right now. Yup, it pays the bills and more. I can now afford to buy my own shampoo hehe. I have cleaned up my sidebar though. hehe.

    how much is the thesis by the way? ^^

    <abbr>fedhz’s last blog post..They Love Me</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Toink. You're mixing up my laundry list noh. Sabi ng hiwalay ang puti sa de kolor eh. Ano bah! Ahahaha. Paid posts are not sh_t, Fedhz. Ikaw talaga. Maraming magagalit sa akin nyan, sige ka. All I'm saying is that I will not comment on paid sh_t - paid posts. Yun lang. Napapagaya tuloy ako. Ahehehe. .. Thesis? Mura lang less than $80+ lang un developer thesis - meaning you can use it for multiple blogs. Yun mas mura for one blog lang applicable, but you can upgrade it naman.
  • sensya sumobra yung scroll down ko. sa sunod na post tuloy ako nakapag-comment. hehe

    <abbr>Badong’s last blog post..Mga Gawain Sa Dilim</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    It's all right. Di pa kasi complete muebles dito at mga kasangkapan, madaling maligaw. Ako rin naliligaw dito eh. :) Iyong mga ganung type ng posts na sinasabi mo? Isn't that odd? Dapat man lang sana nilagyan ng personal perspective ano para maging unique man lang. Maraming ways naman to keep it personal and a stand out pa rin ang post.... Thanks for considering me as one of your possible nominees. :)
  • ang ayaw ko sa mga blog e yung tipong pag binasa ko yung blog nila sasabihin ko sa sarili ko na "sana sa yahoo na lang ako nagbasa.” hehe. btw, yes, i’m considering you as one of my nominees sa influential blogger. goodluck!
  • hi jan! i've always known that the better part of valor is discretion. as a blog reader, you have the choice to leave a comment or not or to leave the page and never comeback and maybe the other person would get the message. that is why first impressions last. when you become friends, i mean really friends, i think you start to tolerate your online buddy so as not to judge him based on his or her one post. it's not like he could compel you to join him in his convictions through his posts while talking about God or raving about product as a paid hack. no need to be so stressed out about it.

    <abbr>fifi’s last blog post..winning a freebie online for the first time</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Oh Fifi, how the tables have turned. Did you just hear yourself now? That's me months ago, mouthing the same thoughts.... Well, Fifi, I'm not just a blog reader. I'm a blogging buddy. And every blogging buddy has this pet notion that he ought to cover the back of his buddies. He has this pet notion he has to deliver for his buddy by being honest, candid and helpful. He has this notion that he has earned these rights.

    The good thing is that those rights are not written on stone. They can be revoked anytime. That's remarkable, right?

    So that means I had better watch out and not encroach on sacred grounds. I know that. I know them perfectly well. Only if I can just remember them in time. For my own good.

    Thank you, Fifi. I so love it when my friends are being so forthright with me as well. :)
  • well, if you consider how you've become online buddies, maybe you and that online buddy rests on some common ground before something from his or her posts irks you to say that his posts suck. so maybe hanging on to this commonality may help you keep your sanity while reading any of his or her posts.

    <abbr>fifi’s last blog post..winning a freebie online for the first time</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    I'm the most imperfect man you can find, Fifi. What I may find sucky in my friend's blogs? It will not surprise me at all if it all comes down to is that realization that I'm guilty of the very same complaints I'm bitching about.

    And this likelihood of bitching about, finding fault? No, it's not a Damocles sword hanging over my friends' heads. I'm here for community. For friendship. If doing so will snap my connection with a friend, I'd bite my tongue off if it comes to that.

    Liken this post to a wish list. I so wish that that online friendship transforms into a full-blown friendship. Where you and I can be open, honest, compassionate and watchful of each others interest at heart.

    This means we can ignore each other. We don't comment on each others every post. But we're secure in the knowledge that we're still friends.

    This means we rely on the other to say, "You suck!" when we get off the rails. And that's nothing because we're friends. Of course, I also take into consideration that not every friend can take that kind of forthrightness. Each of us is made differently.
  • Hi Jan. at last i have the guts to leave a comment. it is hard to read an entry if you were guilty of all the charges and accept all the guiltiness without the presence of a lawyer. your blog is very informative. thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    <abbr>darbs’s last blog post..Inihaw na Dumbass Con-Ass</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Oh, not calling a lawyer at this point will work in your favor, Darbs. Ahahaha. And you're too clever for me! Were you under duress when you've made this confession? Darn, I had no case then. No lawyer, confession illegally extracted from you. Why, Darbs, this case has no legal legs to stand on. You're walking a free man, Darbs. Lucky you. :)
  • Dee
    Two things.

    One: I wonder who got into your nerves this time to conjure (is this the right term? nah, sounds right) such a passionate post as this.

    Second: I've been meaning to ask you this but just haven't got the chance to do so. Why don't you like to comment in paid posts? Is the reason technical like it hurts a blogger's rank (page, alexa, or whatever) if he does make a comment on a paid post? Or is it something else? I've been really wondering about that. I can google or research the answer to that, of course, but you're here and all I gotta do is ask. So there. Hope you don't mind my asking but I am really curious.

    <abbr>Dee’s last blog post..My First Mommy Moments</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    It's a composite of complaints I find in my daily rounds. This is not specifically directed to any of my online buddies, Dee. That's a correct statement. Instantly verifiable. If I've not been to anyone's site that means I'm peeved. Maybe I'd be back. Maybe not. We all evolve to something better. I believe in that. So there's a chance I'd be coming back to those blogs.

    It's not me imposing my will on my fellow bloggers. It's just me doing what works for me. If I don't enjoy reading A's blog then I give A a wide berth. Lots of blogs to amuse myself with.

    But friends' blogs are something else. I feel - wrongly or not - that I have a stake in them. I want them to be at their best. Maybe it's presumptuous of me to suggest that my little list of complaints when addressed will make their blogs super than they already are. I feel a certain responsibility that they do well. My intentions are spotless though my method maybe crude. Ahahaha.

    I don't comment on paid posts generally because I don't find them interesting. Nothing personal. Not SEO related at all. It's not even a judgment call on the blogger - unless of course you do a procession of posts and all of them paid ones.

    Where's the room for conversation there? None. I'd be stumped, speechless. And I will not hurt my brain to cook up something creative so I can just participate in the discussion of a certain product....Ah, I remembered doing that, leaving a comment. But the only comment I could come up with was to jab at the seriousness of the author in writing that post. Yup, I mocked the author a little, making sure though that it was masked cleverly. But I couldn't keep up that kind of thing. It's exhausting. And I don't trust what I'm going to say next. And my brain hurts in the effort.
  • I agree with Luke, it's either I read the post , or just leave it. If I don't have anything good to say about the post, then I just leave.

    No one could twist my arm to say something good about a post I obviously didn't like because I have not commented; unless, the author is a very good friend , then I will have to email him/her.

    And like Dee, I had the same question in mind. I have commented on some paid posts because they were very well written. I had barely noticed the ads. These writers should be lauded for coming up with excellent articles about paid reviews.

    <abbr>Jena Isle’s last blog post..Poets and Poems</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Mam Jena, that's also correct way of conducting yourself in the blogosphere as well as in real life. There's merit in that. I recognize that.

    But personally? I just can't take indifference. If a friend hates something or is bothered by something in my blog, I'd prefer a dressing down/a gentle reminder/a subpoena/a verbal jab/any reaction from my friend. I realize I can be sometimes clueless on many things. I just need to be informed. The manner is better left at the discretion of my friend. He/she knows what will click with me. After all, we are friends/buddies.

    When I'm peeved, I don't want to be left alone. I get angrier when nobody talks with me. That's how I operate.

    But this is just me. My ideas are just that - ideas. My own - take them at your own risk.

    I throw the question at you guys, knowing full well you have other ideas. They are all worth exploring. And I have not been disappointed at the lively response that I've been getting. I'm both amused and a little worried I have touched a raw nerve here, truth to tell. :)
  • Late again! I should be finding out why your new post is not showing in my reader. There must be something wrong I did somewhere. Maybe a misconfiguration. Anyway, I think I'll just camp outside your blog so that I'll be the first commenter just like in the last post. ;)

    Interesting open forum you got here! How do I tell a blogging buddy if I find some disagreeable stuff in his or her blog? It depends on how familiar we are with each other and the degree of the error. If it's something minor, I'll let it be; but if there is a chance that she can be sued for defamation, for instance, I'll email her. But of course, there are cases in between those two mentioned and there are also exceptions and exceptions to exceptions but that's the general idea. It's a friend to friend and a case to case basis, me thinks. So far, there is nothing to tell any of my blogging buddies. They're all nice people with nice blogs.

    You give your list, I give mine. Hmmm... Can't think of any. I mean, I really don't have a list of complaints because it's either I like the blog or I don't. If I like it, I read it—nothing to complain. If I don't like it, I move on—no point complaining.

    Have a nice weekend to each and everyone of you!

    <abbr>Lucrecio Emerito’s last blog post..A Walk In The Dark—A Poem</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Ah, I can live with that, Luke. Tact is an admirable trait. Be forthright with me though - that's my thing, especially when I pointedly ask a friend to give me a disinterested assessment. When I feel I'm not being told certain things I should know about my blog and my person? More than likely I shall ask. Just hoping you'd give it to me straight, Master Jedi. :) This is just me looking ahead.
  • Sure. If you ask for it, you're gonna have it. 8-) (Or at least I'll try)

    <abbr>Lucrecio Emerito’s last blog post..A Walk In The Dark—A Poem</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Ooops - now, I'm scared. :)
  • "But I’d appreciate if my online buddies tell me what ticks them off right to my face. I can manage. I’d even appreciate it."

    I agree with you on this one.

    <abbr>Rob Angeles’s last blog post..Are You Really Ready To Be An Influential Blogger</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Ahahaha. Isn't he cool or what! :)
  • Jan: "How Do You Tell a Blogging Buddy His Style Sucks?"

    Rocky: "Make a post like this one. It's indirect, less confrontational and it's effective. ;) "

    I'm sure your blogging buddies (including myself) got the message. You didn't say it point blank but the message is clear. (wink wink) Those guilty are now reacting (again myself included). :D

    I'm guilty with most on the list. Unfortunately, I can't elaborate. It's a matter of national security. But I'd appreciate if my online buddies tell me what ticks them off right to my face. I can manage. I'd even appreciate it.

    Interesting post you've got here. I enjoyed reading it. And it made me smile...


    <abbr>TheWeblogZone’s last blog post..Best Web Host Rankings -</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Rocky, how long have you been in China? You talk like China's octogenarian party bigwigs, invoking national security! I enjoyed that...

    I've always encouraged my friends to speak their mind, Rocky. I've always enjoyed hearing them sing their praises. But that's cloying after a while. Reader engagement to me means they be forthright about their true views and feelings in this blog. They have every chance and right to call me out when they feel I err on something.

    Good to hear we actually share that enthusiasm for learning from our friends! Your blog is doing all right - better than all right in fact. :)
  • ouch! no.3

    <abbr>JDSalinger’s last blog post..Boys Over Flowers: f4 boys review</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    May bukol ba? :) Don't worry about #3. The idea(s) of the post is far more important than pesky grammar issues. But coming up with clean copy is important, too. If it's just between you and me? It's all right. But we're on the world stage. We need to be seen in the best possible light. Good grammar helps. So when you combine that with great ideas for your blog? That's a blockbuster!
  • honesty is still the best policy! yay! i would tell to the blogger that his writing sucks... even if it is an in-your-face dilemma... well... im not being rude... I always say something I dont like in a nice way naman eh... i'll just make sure that i will not hurt his/her feelings... gladly i know how to distance... hehhehe :D
  • Jan Geronimo
    Watch the distance between us, Yatot. Are we far enough from each other now? Good. Here goes: Not updating your blog sucks, too! There, I have said it. Ahahaha.
  • This was an awesome and informative post, but what can we have a follow up post on why you shouldn't care what your blogging buddy thinks about your blog. If you don't agree with that statement, I'll be happy to explain why in a guest post, but here are a couple of primary reasons to begin with:

    1. You are the most important person in the universe. I know this attitude is a tad naive, and overly cocky, but I think it's necessary for you to know that you should fake it till you make it. Not faking it till you make it can result in major loss of confidence and trouble finding value in yourself.

    Who makes your buddy more knowledgeable than you? Okay, well maybe your blogging buddy is more knowledgeable than you in the topic he/she is dissecting on you. You know what I have to say to that? So what. So what does it matter? You are the most important person on the planet.

    2. Changing their opinion is easy. As a blog "buddy," you probably influence what your friend thinks. If you make he/she think that you are implementing their suggestions, they are already back on your side in the blogosphere.

    3. Are they throwing out BS? For whatever reason, as people, we have the need to light a fire under others' butts. It is unnecessary, but some continue to do it. Your blog buddy may or may not just be throwing bull at you making themselves happy that you are upset.

    Anyhow, I would love to see a post on this topic. Feel free to use some of the things I've said right here!

    <abbr>Dan Miranda’s last blog post..30 Reasons To Believe In Yourself</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Hi Dan,

    Here's what I think: Let's overturn the table. It's my blog that sucks. And my friend tells me in an email explaining why this is so. Bummer. But I can live it down, Dan.

    I'm a thinking man. I'd examine what his points are. Does my friend have a point? Maybe I don't get this in first and second reading because I'm a bit peeved. But I will talk it over with him. Maybe he has specific way to solve the problem, my kind of problem.

    Indeed I am the most important person in the universe. According to me. And according to my friend. He's after my best interest at heart by being forthright with me about important matters. Blogging is like breathing to me, I have lately discovered. To help me to be at my blogging best - that's priceless. That's a sublime acknowledgment that I matter to my friend.

    I can't be above all these trivial stuff. I have to evolve. I maybe an important person in the universe, but if I don't evolve as a better blogger I'd go the way of the dinosaurs. My "do-gooder" friend is an ally. One hell of a modda fokka friend, if you ask me. :)

    About a bounce off post to this one? Be my guest, Dan. Anytime, my friend. :)
  • 3. Are they throwing out BS? For whatever reason, as people, we have the need to light a fire under others’ butts. It is unnecessary, but some continue to do it. Your blog buddy may or may not just be throwing bull at you making themselves happy that you are upset.

    Oh, how did you get so wise, so young, Dan? I am LMAO at this point. I keep trying to tell my son that bullies don't feel very good about themselves, and in turn need to make others unhappy in order to feel better by comparison. Schadenfreude. Such a lovely word for an ugly concept.

    But I also agree with Jan. It takes no effort at all to say "nice post," or "good job" and there are times when that's really all there is to say, which is good. We all deserve a pat on the back when we've earned it, but it's more meaningful when the praise highlights what we've done particularly well, so we can repeat it next time.

    There's a difference between mere criticism and constructive criticism. And while the latter may sting every bit as much - maybe MORE - than the former (because we know in our hearts there's a grain of truth to the latter), we'd do well to listen. After we've listened, we can decide whether to do anything about it or not. But people who don't care about us usually don't bother to go to all the trouble of giving us constructive criticism. That takes time and effort. Why should they waste a chunk of their own lives on it? With practice, we can begin to distinguish the people who merely want to make us feel bad about ourselves from the people who care enough about us to donate to us a chunk of their time and effort, and even to risk our ire in doing so, trusting that we will see there was no malice, and only our good, at heart.

    <abbr>Holly Jahangiri’s last blog post..Who’s Cooler?</abbr>
  • on no.2 I certainly agree with Roy - "As far an individual is concerned, he is important to God, and I honestly believe nothing is too small to be raised up to Him. "

    I think messianic complex is someone who thinks he is the destined savior, not necessarily dragging God. I will not have a problem with any blogger out there who thinks they can save the blogosphere from paid posts, viral markeeters, traffic huggers, scandalizers, keyword snatchers, boring writers..., etc... This is an exercise of one's freedom of expression.

    let's appreciate diversity in our 1) reasons for blogging 2) styles of writings 3) methods of promotions 4) targeted readers 5) ways of making money online 6) political outlook and affiliation 7) etc...

    Oh lolo Jan! If you combine the comments of Jena, Roy and mine, mas mahaba pa to sa blogpost mo, ah!

    There is always more to the blogger than his blog. This is my way of countering those who say that "You are what you write".

    <abbr>ceblogger’s last blog post..Not In My Blogroll</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Touche. Thanks for pointing that out, Novz. :)

    I appreciate diversity, too. And I do that best by ignoring bloggers that annoy me. It's not as if I were conducting a pogrom of sorts to make the blogosphere clean up its act. Naah.

    Online friendship is something else. If we are friends my only requirement is that I can be myself with you. That means I reserve the right to be open and honest with you - if you can take it.

    And this is mutual. A two-way street. I can give it as well as take it.

    There's only one You in the universe. You cannot be replicated anymore. This means I will not change your fundamental core self. I'm not God. I'm just a pain-in-the-butt friend who by some quirk of fate you've mistakenly befriended. :)
  • I was just curious Jan, so how do you specifically define , "crossing the line?" between friends in the blogosphere? Wouldn't that be a personal definition between the two people concerned?

    <abbr>Jena Isle’s last blog post..Poets and Poems</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    That's a difficult question to answer. Every friendship has its own dynamics. What may work with Roy may not necessarily click with Doc Z. But wherever we choose to lay down the demarcation line? Respect - this is all I can say at the moment. Whatever we do must be tempered with and guided by respect.

    The problem with this post is that it's so crafted for eyeballs. There I've said it. It's so designed to arouse readers interest and encourage click-throughs.

    Aha! There's Jan's deviousness working! I knew it!

    One little note: I don't go around, swaggering into the blogosphere, barging into my friend's blog and telling him: Roy, can you please change the curtain? The color sure sucks. Does that make me a good boy now? No, because I might just turn around and do worse than that. Ahahaha.

    On several occasions, I took exceptions to my friends' views. Did I cross the line by being disrespectful? I have called out young bro Elmot. I offered contrary view to Roy's opinion. Did I cross the line there? There's this commenter on your blog who's full of herself. Remember? I left a comment mocking her style of commenting. Did I overstep the bounds of decency?

    Holy Cow. I just hope I did not cause any of you to feel much put-upon because of my misplaced enthusiasm.

    Where's my own demarcation line? I don't know where to place it. But when the occasion calls for it , I will be quick to say, "Don't go there. That's sacred ground."

    Be assured, I'm a wimp when I'm with friends. I live on their sufferance.

    Just don't ask me if your blog sucks. I just might say yes. Ahahaha
  • I agree with the major points. There should be respect. Even between strangers, respect should be accorded.

    And we could not correctly evaluate a relationship because we don't know the real score; what the relationship is founded on , how did it come about, etc. There are facts that only those in the relationship know about.

    Yes, I remember your comment in that particular post, lol...but I'm a self-confident fool, no matter what others say - I shall write as I wish, but I also listen to constructive criticism, every now and then. No one is perfect. She is a friend- a good one at that - so it was okay with me.

    I could have opted not to publish it, but my feathers are not ruffled by comments like that.

    In the end, I decide what to write and how to write it. As long as there are no glaring grammatical errors, then to h_ll with what anybody thinks.

    It seems you've projected that "swaggering " persona in your post.

    Ask Roy what he thought initially about you, oops...he he he....

    I know my blog's theme and layout are lousy but I'm just here to write and enjoy myself.

    <abbr>Jena Isle’s last blog post..Poets and Poems</abbr>
  • pain-in-the-butt friend, LOL! i think we should all meet and have coffee. poke each other, help each other, praise each other and critique each other. nah, let's just have fun!

    <abbr>ceblogger’s last blog post..Not In My Blogroll</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    I don't know about the poking thing. But I could sure use some coffee. That will be lovely, Novz. :)
  • Roy
    Did I hear somebody say coffee?

    make mine black, absolutely no cream ;)

    wonder when we could do that.

    <abbr>Roy’s last blog post..Bakit ganun? Nakakainis?</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    About God. I only take exception to dragging God into the conversation just to win cookie points. I'm the least religious man this neck of the wood, but I have a healthy respect for people who venerate God. My post is just an advice to people who unceremoniously drag God into the argument to bludgeon the other person into submission.

    Paid Posts: It's a gray area, Roy. I might not read it, but it doesn't mean I take it against you. Come on, you know better than that.

    Grammar Police: I'm just a barangay tanod myself with an attitude. Does that absolve me? Please? :)

    Suckiness: When I say the post sucks does it mean the author sucks? When I say the blog sucks does it mean the author sucks? In my book, no. Do I tell the whole of blogosphere blogger A sucks? No, blogger A is my buddy. I'd shoot myself in the foot before I'd do that. But I'd find a way, I'd bide my time till the right moment comes.

    It's not the Lolo Jan complex in me. It's not that I want to save my buddies from themselves.

    Or maybe I am. Maybe I have a complex indeed.

    Roy, you make me sweat truth to tell. And it sucks. :)
  • Roy
    yey! I got a blue comment spot! :)

    (sorry Jan, I just have to blurt it out, hehe...)

    <abbr>Roy’s last blog post..Bakit ganun? Nakakainis?</abbr>
  • Roy
    I would like to take exception on No. 2 Jan, if you don't mind

    all of us are equal, nothing or no one is more important than the other person. As far an individual is concerned, he is important to God, and I honestly believe nothing is too small to be raised up to Him. So He won't ever push me away and say "Come back later, I'm busy!"

    On No. 1, I could be guilty, if only I knew them.

    Paid posts? It's scattered in all my blogs, no excuses. But don't anyone dare to take that against me... they don't send my kids to school.

    On Grammar police. I hate them! I'm through with school! I have graduated even before Mt. Pinatubo erupted, so spare me the lectures. If it sounds right to me, I'll leave it as it is. Otherwise, I'll seek an opinion.

    So how do I tell a buddy his style sucks? I don't. Really. It's his own. And it's not like mine is the all-sublime-should-be-emulated style of writing, for me to go out and put down other bloggers like I'm doing them the biggest favor in their life.

    I would comment on the topic posted though, which I believe is a very different thing.

    <abbr>Roy’s last blog post..Writer's block</abbr>
  • Roy, I think Jan's complaint has nothing to do with the discussion of God, but only reflects on the religious zealots and proselytizers who would claim to see the face of God in every cheese sandwich, and insist that you do the same or you're going straight to HELL.

    The sort of folks you don't dare discuss theology with, because, by the grace of THEIR God, their minds are made up and girded by iron bars that will not admit a dissenting thought. I always think of these folks as having very shaky faith - they are so terrified that someone else's ideas might damage their carefully crafted faith that they will not listen, hear, or discuss, for fear that the Devil will leap into their soul in triumph. If your faith is strong, what's to fear?

    <abbr>Holly Jahangiri’s last blog post..Who’s Cooler?</abbr>
  • to be very diplomatic about it, i'll say nothing at all and wait for the blogger friend to come up with a post that i'd like. but it will just be up to him, in his own time.

    sooner of later, we'll change., or shall i say evolve. from the serious to funky to political to poetic and then post about naruto. btw, naruto is i think the most searched keyword but not necessarily high paying.

    <abbr>ceblogger’s last blog post..Not In My Blogroll</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    When I grow up, I'd like to have your patience and wisdom, Novz. I like your stand on this. That's an admirable stand on the matter.
  • Now, I'm the fourth to comment on this post to make up for my late entry to the earlier post.

    Let me see, for no. 1 obsession with high paying keywords - I'm not guilty of this, I'm sure, or am I? I don't search for key words before posting . I just create my post and that's it.

    For no. 2, Messiah complex.
    The truth is I may go to church , but I wouldn't call myself pious. But yes, when I find no answer to a problem, I always call on Him and I'll be okay. Is something wrong with that? He's actually my refuge when everything seems wrong. (Now, am I bringing God to the picture ? Just reacting to your post, Jan.)

    I did comment twice anchoring my answer on God , because there are times that we have to remind people of the presence of a spiritual being. And doing this, when needed, would make us aware also of our own puny, mundane existence. Honestly, I don't find anything wrong with that.

    If the commenter is a fanatic, then that's a different story.

    No.3 Fat target for the grammar police.
    In this aspect, I bow to you. You're the expert. You studied journalism while we pursued science, so I wouldn't mind receiving an email from you with some corrections. There is always room for improvement. I could help you too in my field, if ever you'll need help in the future. Who knows? You can never tell.

    There were times that I was able to spot the error in the second or third proofreading, so no one is perfect. Even Lincoln's famous address had been edited a hundred times.

    That reminds me of your article for the book. ...

    4. When you’re full of sh_t. Don’t look elsewhere.
    Sometimes, we're too self confident we think we are above everyone else. You're intimidating at times, Jan; but you respond sincerely to your readers, so a balance is created.

    As for me, I would like to ask your opinion???

    5. Crossing the line.
    Friendships online are formed through constant interaction, just like you and the rest of the group. You haven't even known some of them, 3 months back , and now it is as if you've known each other for ages! So if someone is cramping your style , then it would therefore, be safe to conclude that you could tell them privately and they wouldn't mind, right Jan?

    I find it hard to connect online, I have to get to know the other person better before I could do so. But when I do, you could expect a lifetime friend in me, come hell or high waters. I wouldn't mind if you tell me that I'm cramping your style. ( porque, hindi mo na ako kailangan? he he he...joke)

    I would certainly give you all the space that you want. The icing on the cake? I'll still be here when you come back from that "space", no matter how long it takes. And I'll stay loyal to you - not a bad word from my mouth.

    6. Paid posts.
    Some of us have to earn extra, Jan; for hospital bills, for food, etc. Not all are lucky to eat three square meals a day without extra income.
    On my part, I write paid post every now and then, and the extra income helps a lot.

    If you don't comment on my paid post, it's okay I would understand. I hope you understand too why we have to earn extra cash.

    I absolutely agree that being honest with your friends online is a hallmark of true friendship. "Ang nagsasabi ng tapat ay nagsasama ng maluwat." Honesty is the best policy.

    There you go, am I forgiven now for my absences and tardiness?

    <abbr>Jena Isle’s last blog post..Poets and Poems</abbr>
  • I have gone back and forth on the issue of paid posts, myself. I finally decided that I would do them, but only under limited circumstances:

    1) I am fully comfortable endorsing the product or service, or the sponsor clearly states that I have free rein to write both the good and the bad as I see it. I have seen it, used it, or know people who have. Nothing I write need compromise my integrity.

    2) I will accept "free samples" (to satisfy #1 - so that I can write accurately, honestly, and from personal experience). "Free samples" do NOT obligate me to say all good things about a product or a service. I do not buy a product just so I can write a paid post about it. (That is akin to paying to publish, something else I will not do. There is a difference between "vanity press" and "self-publishing," though - it's fine to pay the production folks, the editors, artists, printers, binders, and shippers, but not to pay some middleman to tell you how fantastic you are and how you owe it to the world to publish.)

    3) I will write for free, but that is MY choice. I may endorse or critique a product or service for NO pay - if I am moved to do so. In fact, so far, all "reviews" on my blog come under this point. In other words, I will accept pay, but I can't be "bought."

    Paid posts will never be the foundation of my blog, but who couldn't use a little extra cash from time to time? Provided a blogger isn't obviously and desperately scrabbling for pennies, without regard to human interaction and personal integrity, I have no issues with it. In fact, I love the ones who have some cool giveaways for blog readers. I never win, but some are fun and the prizes are great. I'd write a few sponsored posts if someone gave me cool prizes to give away, just to spread the smiles.

    Sorry, Jan - so far, Amazon hasn't told me I can give away a Kindle2.

    <abbr>Holly Jahangiri’s last blog post..Who’s Cooler?</abbr>
  • Yes, sounds fair to me. I would participate in discussion, paid or not, as long as I know where the author is coming from. We all have our own strategies in monetizing content and reasons on why we need too do it.

    "Provided a blogger isn’t obviously and desperately scrabbling for pennies, without regard to human interaction and personal integrity, I have no issues with it."

    This statement is the same belief that I have.

    <abbr>Rob Angeles’s last blog post..Are You Really Ready To Be An Influential Blogger</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    That's looks like a sound policy statement on paid posts to me. I'd look back at your input on this when the occasion calls for it. Very straightforward and transparent. I like it.
  • Jan Geronimo
    Oh my, should I duck for cover now?

    About Messiah complex
    . Oh, I am tolerant about God being brought to the discussion. Often times, we're all the richer for it. But - I take exception to the zealots and the overly righteous.

    About grammar mistakes
    : I'm singing a different tune this time, don't I. It's because I now fully understand the folly of sweeping all this under the rug, so to speak. We need to improve if we want to take our blog to another level. If we are swapping notes just among ourselves it's fine. But we're doing it on the stage for the whole world to see. I want us to have a fighting chance out there.

    When someone is full of sh_t. This must be a temp condition - otherwise, how on earth we become friends, right? Ahahaha. If that aberration persists we need to be creative in telling our friend - this is my opinion about it.

    Crossing the line. None of my knights and honorary women warriors on horses have crossed the line. This is a forward looking post in that sense. If someone does I'd yelp - I'm that sensitive about my private space.

    Jena, there's no bundy clock here. Come and go as you please. :)
  • Well, this is indeed a very "diplomatic" way to send some people a message. I hope that I am not included in one of those "SEO Gibberish" sites you are talking about. Anyway, I would know, wouldn't I?

    Overall, I do believe that as long as you are giving some value to someone, that is OK. Telling an online buddy what he is doing wrong, in a constructive means, is always welcome (at least for me). Sometimes, I do it by sending an email. There is no point to it publicly.

    BTW; I like the exception. I will post an article soon about "selling" your blog on Kindle:)

    <abbr>DiTesco’s last blog post..The Best 7 Free PDF Guides About Twitter</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    You're a respected SEO shaman, DiTesco. I've got no complaints in that department. That's why I keep coming back. Honestly? SEO can be such a challenging read. Because it's power lies in its capacity to make me yawn. Ahahaha. But! You make it sound simple and sometimes - fun. That's your saving grace. You can't make me come back if I find your posts as SEO gibberish. :)
  • I absolutely agree with your points. Well taken! I have nothing against blogs who do it for the sake of money or pray for a down pour of traffic for ads to earn revenue. We all have our reasons and I respect that. But sometimes, we need to think about long-term goals. One may have enormous traffic but no loyal followers.

    We're not advocates of the righteous web here but of value. And sometimes, we need to unlearn things just to move forward. Will it be worth it? You're right, there are no written rules on how we should do things online but there's one important thing that can help us create more elegant strategies. Authentic relationships. But that's just me.

    <abbr>Rob Angeles’s last blog post..Put Twitter Into Use In Your Next Job Hunt</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Thanks, Rob. If somebody I care about asks for my opinion, I will give it to him/her. The style is calibrated to what I consider the current level of friendship: what tack should get the best result for the both of us. But the bottom line is honesty. I owe it to that person.

    If he/she does not ask for my opinion - fine, I'd keep quiet. But if I think my buddy is hurting himself or his blog, I'd find creative ways to let him know. I owe him that. He's a buddy.
  • To me, it's this simple: If you think anyone you know is hurting himself you should at least try to tell them. They may be so full of themselves they don't want to hear it, but at least you can sleep at night, knowing you had no hand in the inevitable destruction - or public embarrassment. Put another way: If I'm walking around at a party with my skirt stuck up in the waistband of my pantyhose, and my behind is sticking out for all to see - even if we're NOT "buddies," wouldn't it be a kindness to tell me, honestly, so I could fix it? If I did that on purpose, and I give you some snotty comeback, like, "Mind your own business, Fool!" then I deserve whatever ridicule I get - but you've absolved yourself of any responsibility for it. If you noticed and said nothing, then you'll feel a little mean, later, for having said nothing.

    <abbr>Holly Jahangiri’s last blog post..Who’s Cooler?</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    I love your specific example. It's so cinematic I can't get it out of my head. :) Well, well, what's good about you, Holly? You always keep me guessing. Did you see my #followfriday antic by the way?
  • "But if I think my buddy is hurting himself or his blog, I’d find creative ways to let him know. I owe him that. He’s a buddy."

    I would certainly do the same. One of the things I learned in the past years is the ROI of online and offline relationships. It does pay off. Agree?

    <abbr>Rob Angeles’s last blog post..Are You Really Ready To Be An Influential Blogger</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Exactly, Rob. :) Wooh - nice post you've got there. I'm intrigued now. Ahahaha. In a little while though.
  • I guess I could tell it only when I think that person and me has a good relationship as a buddy blogger, I mean, pag sinabi naman kasi sayo in a - - not so insulting way, I don't think there is anything wrong with it naman hehe

    <abbr>Earthling Chic’s last blog post..Make money with your blog</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Tact and timing is very important to consider. You're right - a considerate critique can strengthen the online friendship if it doesn't wreck it.
  • Tinamaan ako sa number three! LOL! ako kaya, may masasabi kaya akong mali sa iyong GREAT blog? I think, sa theme lang. Maganda theme ng blog mo, simple and elegant. Pero maganda din ung may personalized banners, graphics. But that will cost your readers time when loading your blog... but that's up to you. un lang comment ko sa blog mo, my blogging buddy... :D

    BTW, if you want, I can make some graphics for you.. :D

    <abbr>Kelvin Servigon’s last blog post..Kelvin Servigon as a Model (Set 2)</abbr>
  • Same here... Minsan kasi nagmamadali akong magblog dami kasing schedule on my plate, so minsan I am like rushing to publish it. ^_^

    <abbr>Snow’s last blog post..The Puerto Galera Ferry Accident</abbr>
  • Jan Geronimo
    Yeah, we all seem very busy. It's as if we'd feel guilty if all stop a moment to consider, "What's the fuss, all about? Why can't I just take it easy." And most of the time, this is just in our heads. Because the next minute we're back in saddle again.
  • Jan Geronimo
    I'm still figuring out how to spice up the page, Kelvin. I don't even know how to put in my Recent Reader widget from BlogCatalog and that MyBlog widget. By the way, which of the two do you think is more important?... I'll get back to you on your offer later. Perhaps when all have a more normal schedule. But thanks for your kind offer. I'm very flattered.
  • siguro ung theme with graphics? hehe, kc ung ibang readers gus2 din ung mgandang feeling sa mata habang nagbabasa ng blog mo... pero ung content naman ang always important... bsta, just tell me, I'll make some graphics for you FOR FREE... :D

    <abbr>Kelvin Servigon’s last blog post..Dreaming of Reality Wedding Video</abbr>
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